Friday, November 11, 2011

The Soul's a Petrified Fleck of Partridge

Fuckity, I'm sorry, watch this:

Jeebusfuck. Gabriel's 1982 Security tour, Warner Theater, literally, one of the best five nights of my life, but fuckity, my entire life has been a lie.

Fuckity, Obama's decided to not piss you off until after next year's election:

The Obama administration will reassess the proposed route through Nebraska for a major pipeline that would carry oil from Canada to Texas, according to State Department officials, a move that will delay a final decision beyond the 2012 election.

Fucker. Again, please please please please please please please please please please please please please may John Roberts get hit by a bus in March so Obama need name Roberts' replacement at the height of the election cycle. Please please please please please please please please please please please please please.

Fuckity, did you know Washington DC has a professional soccer team?

Fuckity, it's true, but not for fucking long:

We have to aggressively figure a solution out, and that solution needs to be figured out soon. I am concerned about where this team will be in 2012. They’ve been operating without a new lease. They’ve been in discussions on a lease to try to improve their terms. I’m shocked to say they could be paying more for their lease in RFK than any other team we have in the league. There is no doubt in my mind that it’s a stadium that is substandard to what soccer fans are able to experience in many other markets.

I don’t know where Kevin Payne is in his most recent conversations with the mayor. All I know is that Part One of this project is not asking the mayor to give us money to build a stadium in D.C.; the first part is to try to renew a lease at RFK that makes economic sense for a soccer team that is delivering great value and employing lots and lots of people and has been a good member of the community.

This occurred to me, it's far-fetched but give it a try: best case scenario is the DC government is corrupt and incompetent (your test for today: is corruption more a feature of incompetence or incompetence a feature of corruption), probable scenario is DC government is corrupt and incompetent but Vince Gray is right that politically there's no fucking way DC spends a cent on United, worse case scenario is the DC government is corrupt but not so incompetent it doesn't want United to fuck off elsewhere so RFK can be torn down so a motherfucking midget with a helmetball team can overspend for the property.

Adding, Kevin Payne. Why is Will Chang paying Kevin Payne, who has failed on the field and has failed in getting a stadium, who appears to have ZERO FUCKING OPTIONS other than move the team from DC? He was hired to produce winning teams and get a stadium built in DC or immediate surrounds. Yes, negotiating with the District sucks. Maybe negotiating with Kevin Payne sucks too.

Also, too. Also, beerless Byrd Stadium and Barra Brava and campus police who couldn't even get a job with the motherfucking Park Police. Win.


Ira Sadoff

The shaft of narrative peers down.
The soul's a petrified fleck of partridge this October. 
Mud-spattered, it thinks it's brush, it thinks 
it's one with the brush when God aims 

just below its feathers. It's too late to raise the soul, 
some ossified conceit we use to talk about deer 
as if we were deer, to talk about the sun, as if the cold 
autumn light mirrored our lover asleep in the tub. 

Nevertheless, I want to talk about it. Those scarred bodies 
on the hospital table, they're white chalk children use 
to deface the sidewalk. The deer fed in the gazebo, 
where the salt lick was barely safe from the fox. 

And when the wind didn't drag my scent to her,
I sat listless, half-awake, and watched her hunger 
surpass her timidity. I should have been changed. 
I should have been startled into submission 

by a very white light, I should have shed my misgivings 
as her tongue made that sticky sound on the lick
and two startled animals stared into what St. Francis
called a mystery. I should bring her back, the woman too, 

the woman who what why words fail me here. 
I should sanctify the hospital gown as it slides down
the tunnel of the catscan, to see where 
the nodules have spread into the thin, pliable tissues 

we call the innards in animals, because they dwell 
in scenery, they're setting for the poem, they provide 
a respite from the subject who's been probed and lacerated,
who's been skinned and eaten away by the story 

when I'm beguiled by the music the hooves made
on the pine floor. I can bring her back, can't I,
I'm bringing him back, the hero who was close enough 
so I could watch what was inside his face hover and scatter. 


  1. Fuckity, Obama's decided to not piss you off until after next year's election

    He must think we're stupit or something!

  2. commenter "D" is spot on, in the Jodi link

  3. Yes, it's clear that Corporate's organists have no interest in comparing and contrasting the behavior of the two mobs.

  4. Is it just the organists, though? Can't a certain type of Occupy supporter/participant (and they know who they are) be included within this envelope as well?

  5. Yes, though many of them tend to take *their* cues from the organists (or to put it another way, seem to think they can influence/worry about how the organists play them).

    It's fascinating on many levels, was the main topic of conversation last night at TNP, I'll have a recap tomorrow (or not).

  6. Jeebus, you're pantytwisted because some dipshit professor at Hobart thinks you cuss too much or your commenters sometimes say "pussy" or something? And because some people are too intellectually dishonest to compare/contrast Occupy and Happy Valley? Like that's the most stunning intellectual dishonesty you can lather and froth about?

    And there's really a shred of doubt in you that the KY pipeline, or whatever the fuck they call it, is going to be built? OMFGWTF has happened to your fucking DNA?

    And it's all Payne's fault? Are you out of your fucking mind? Do you recall that whole thing a few years ago when United was going to put up like $200+ mill and only required the city to do some roadwork, and the city thought they were getting ripped off because it involved a stadium and the Lerners butthurt them and therefore that part of Ward 8 couldn't have any fucking money?

    Breathing...breathing...breathing...okay, it passed. Sorry, dood. Return to whatever that was, and sin more, or don't. Sorry.

    No I'm not, I just figured out that every fucking thing in this post was specifically designed to bait me and only me. Curse you, Simon BFF Sinister.

  7. Heh, the shot at my unworthiness was a gift to a friend (besides a gift for you). Inside baseball. I'll tell you when I see you. Dinner with Planet that Tuesday is on.

    Yes, of course the pipeline's going to be built to the precise demands of Corporate. Didn't I say that?

    Yes, of course the District sucks. I'm just saying that (a) Payne has failed at his assignments and (b) it's entirely possible he has zero good will with anyone in the District and could it hurt to have someone else talk at them? Probably not help, but not hurt.

  8. I'd have to agree, actually. The entire narrative thread is woven through with, "We've got to be mindful of the media."

    Fuck 'em, I say. Motherfuckers got faces what can be punched.

  9. I'm pretty sure it's not just Payne talking to them. As far as his job performance, he owns a piece, he'd have to be bought out of his job. Which would cut into building a stadium or paying the rent on some fine human flesh that we love.

    This remains entirely about the District's butthurt and the stupidity that drives them to believe that all major league sports are created equal. They're not smart enough to realize that some money is better than no money, and that they're trying to suck blood from a stone. If there's bullshit coming from the club side, it's about the unworthiness of the venue for human habitation; if EventOne cuts the rent significantly, DCU will pay it in a heartbeat.