Friday, August 30, 2013

Raise One Eyebrow





Woke up with Throbbing Gristle in my head. Have spam from Poland

piecznie spośród budynku. Pagina personale esterna dell'autore... Trzymając się cienia zszedł po pochyłości podwórza. W pobliżu kostnicy zachował się tudzież rozejrzał dokoła, otworzył http://www.polskieslicznotki.waw.pl kolosalne, drewniane przejścia i wszedł wewnątrz.

Stosownie aż do charakteru pokoje panowała tędy głucha ani mru mru!. Saracen zapalił przestrzeń niezadrukowana. Przy bitwy poruszył luźno osadzonym w ścianie wyłącznikiem tudzież na podłogę posypały się kawałki tynku. W najsampierw.

Unfortunately my Polish colleague started her vacation today so I've no idea how I'm being praised or what's being sold (I've killed the link so if you copy/paste it and get a blue screen it's on you). In any case, that takes care of my required Labor Day Weekend bleggalgazing. Yes, Coil cascade up next.







  • Once upon a time (2007, actually) Joe Biden's case that waging war without consent of congress is an impeachable act: Absolutely. I want to stand by that comment I made. The reason I made the comment was as a warning. I don't say those things lightly, Chris. you've known me for a long time. I was Chairman of the Judiciary Committee for 17 years. I teach separation of powers in Constitutional law. This is something I know. So I brought a group of Constitutional scholars together to write a piece that I'm going to deliver to the whole United States Senate pointing out that the president HAS NO CONSTITUTIONAL AUTHORITY to take this country to war against a country of 70 million people unless we're attacked or unless there is proof that we are about to be attacked. And if he does, I would move to impeach him. The House obviously has to do that, but I would lead an effort to impeach him. The reason for my doing that -- and I don't say it lightly, I don't say it lightly.
  • Nancy Pelosi urges bombing Syria.
  • Jonathan Chait stamps foot, says Obama better not be lying this time or else.
  • Miley Cyrus, Syria, war as consumer item.






  • On Kindness.
  • New to me: Marzanna Bogumila Kielar.
  • On the Thomas Pynchon trailLet’s get a few things straight. First of all, it’s pronounced “Pynch-ON.” Second, the great and bewildering and, yes, very private novelist is not exactly a recluse. In select company, he’s intensely social and charismatic, and, in spite of those famously shaming Bugs Bunny teeth, he was rarely without a girlfriend for the 30 years he spent wandering and couch-surfing before getting married in 1990. Today, he’s a yuppie—self-confessed, if you read his new novel, Bleeding Edge, as a key to the present life of a man whose travels led one critic to reflect: “Salinger hides; Pynchon runs.” Now Pynchon hides in plain sight, on the Upper West Side, with a family and a history of contradictions: a child of the postwar Establishment determined to reject it; a postmodernist master who’s called himself a “classicist”; a workaholic stoner; a polymath who revels in dirty puns; a literary outsider who’s married to a literary agent; a scourge of capitalism who sent his son to private school and lives in a $1.7 million prewar classic six.
  • Laziest literary link ever?
  • Cyberpunk, for those of you who do.
  • A distinction between scifi and fantasy, for those of you who do one or the other or both.
  • RIP Seamus Heaney. I confess he never sang to me, which reminds me to speculate again (elsewhere, don't worry) why by and large contemporary non-American/Canadian English poetry, especially non-American/Canadian English poetry by men (Les Murray and Robin Robertson are the only two currently working poets whose new volumes I immediately seek out) doesn't sing to me. Suggestions on who to read pleaded for.
  • New York lit circle Royal Rumble.







HOW TO BE A LAWYER

Jordan Davis

My father taught me how to play the beer bottle. It was Schlitz, and I was three or four. " You tuck your lower lip under, then blow air over the top of the bottle." I produced a tone, and we laughed. He paused. "You can make a different sound if there's less in the bottle," he said, motioning for me to take a sip. I did, then blew another note. We laughed again.

"Do you want to learn something else? Here's how to be a lawyer. Raise one eyebrow." I did so. "Good. Now hold it for a few seconds, turn to the jury, and say 'I see.'"



8 comments:

  1. the 'how to be a lawyer' poem reminded me of 'the pope and the lawyer in heaven' joke - in searching for it i found the following - i've corrected the spelling

    One day a group of men got killed in a car crash, and all ascended into heaven. At the gates, St.Peter told them the only rule in heaven was don't step on a duck. They could do anything they wanted, but they couldn't step on a duck. The men agreed, and St.Peter let them in. Everywhere the eye could see was a duck. Ducks everywhere. The first guy didn't make it an hour before he stepped on a duck. St.Peter came over to him with this horribly ugly woman and tied her to him. St.Peter told the guy, you stepped on the duck, this is your punishment. The next day another guy stepped on a duck. St.Peter tied another horribly ugly woman to him, and told him that was his punishment for stepping on a duck. One by one men were tied to horribly ugly women for stepping on ducks. The last guy survived years without stepping on a duck. Then one day St.Peter came over to the man with an incredibly beautiful woman, and tied her to him. The man asked, what is this for? The woman replied, I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck.

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  2. Who'da thunk your brain was merely a bit of throbbing gristle? And that you'd just not discovered it?

    Oh, wait. You mean the band? An earworm? My bad.

    Hahaha, mistah c! But 'lookism'.

    Best of the Bolshie holiday weekend to all who haunt these parts—buncha' fuckin' Commie hippies! I for one will likely be back next week with some snaps from the local Dragon*Con!!!!

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  3. Woke up with Throbbing Gristle in my head.

    There is no way that's not your best opening line EVar.

    FFS, dr. mistah charley:

    Duck walks into a drugstore, asks the owner, "Got any condoms?" Owner says, "No, of course not, get out of here." Duck leaves.

    Next day, duck walks into the store, asks the owner, "Got any condoms?" Owner says, "No, of course not, you're starting to piss me off, if you show up here again I'm nailing your little webbed feet to the floor." Duck leaves.

    Next day, duck walks into the store, asks the owner, "Got any nails?" Owner looks puzzled, says, "No." Duck says, "Got any condoms?"

    And now for BDR's favorite duck joke:

    Mighty eagle, big horny bastard, goes around taking what he wants from other, smaller birds. Grabs up a dove, spends all night making it with the dove, asks the dove how it was. The dove responds, "I'm a dove, and I like love."

    Next night, mighty eagle kidnaps a loon, swoops back to his nest, goes at it all night, asks the loon how he was. The loon says, "I'm a loon, and I like to spoon."

    Next night, eagle makes off with a duck, back to the nest, bang bang bang all night, asks the duck how he was. The duck says, "I'm a drake, you made a mistake."

    You're welcome, Planet.

    Special to BDR: Pignose!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Penguin walks into a bar, says to bartender, I'm meeting my brother here, have you seen him? Bartender says, what does he look like?

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  4. So the distinction between sci-fi and fantasy is Pelosi on the war?

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  5. Baby seal walks into a club...

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  6. Ok. let me phrase this differently.

    Please fix the Sci-fi fantasy link.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry, fixed now, I got it the first time but the first time was just now....

      Delete