Friday, May 23, 2014

I Like Ping-Gong and Bobcats, Shatterproof Drinking Glasses, the Smell of Kerosene, the Crunch of Carrots

First thought on Donovan's (not Donovan) exclusion from USMNT WC14 team? That song, which begins playing anytime I think Landon Donovan, won't be in my head all June.

Second thought? Klinsmann building towards 2016 Copa America, better chance go deep there than in WC14 Group of Death. Donovan would not have been on USMNT in 2016, he's 87 in soccer years.

Third thought, and I'd bet the right thought: Donovan is an asshole, Klinsmann is an asshole, Klinsmann has the hammer.

Fourth thought, I am very curious for WC14 for reasons more than just soccer - as in, the potential clusterfuck - but I'm also curious to see where my soccer damn is, cause when it comes to DC United it pretty much has disappeared.

Fifth thought, I always like Steve Hillage's cover better than the original:

  • The journalistic styling of Glenn Greenwald referenced to Starland Vocal Bands' Afternoon Delight.
  • But then Greenwald is savaged by the despicable turd called Kinsley. Ranking turds for turdiness has lost the allure it once had for me.
  • Leaking leaks and the leakers that leak them.
  • Portraits in Courage by Democratic senatorsNotably missing among the 50 Democrats in the U.S. Senate who urged the NFL to reconsider the Redskins name this week this week: Tim Kaine and Mark Warner. Those two Senators, of course, represent Virginia, where the Redskins are based, and where the team practices and holds its training camp. Easy, cheap shot here, I know, but fine metaphors abound. And the Racist Slurs' name controversy WILL NEVER BE OVER.
  • Not all men.
  • Debating the death of Twitter: On one side are those nodding their heads in agreement with the recent eulogy for Twitter in The Atlantic. On the other are those claiming that for countless communities, it’s a bustling town square and home for like minds—a platform that excels in giving voice to those who previously didn’t have one.
  • The midfield engine that could.
  • Gaithersburg, the town I grew up in, is the 8th fastest growing city in America.
  • When my parents moved us to Gaithersburg in 1965 the population was 3500.
  • Memorial Day Weekend - it starts today - is the slowest four days of the year in Blegsylvania except for only Thanksgiving. We're hiking Saturday, we're hiking Sunday, we're hiking Monday. There may be blogging here, but barring kaboom it will be lazyass and futile. Well, it would be futile even with kaboom.
  • How to Head in a Jar Prank.
  • Walter Benjamin, for those of you who do.
  • Thomas Bernhard, for those of you who do.
  • Deleuze, for those of you who do.
  • Foucault, for those of you who do.
  • Mary Ruefle interview!
  • And thinking of Hillage makes me think of Gong. These are complete albums of the trilogy, skip ahead to your favorite songs of each of you haven't three hours of so.


James Tate

My cuticles are a mess. Oh honey, by the way,
did you like my new negligee? It’s a replica
of one Kim Novak wore in some movie or other.
I wish I had a foot-long chili dog right now.
Do you like fireworks, I mean not just on the 4th of July,
but fireworks any time? There are people
like that, you know. They’re like people who like
orchestra music, listen to it any time of day.
Lopsided people, that’s what my father calls them.
Me, I’m easy to please. I like ping-gong and bobcats,
shatterproof drinking glasses, the smell of kerosene,
the crunch of carrots. I like caterpillars and
whirlpools, too. What I hate most is being the first
one at the scene of a bad accident.

Do I smell like garlic? Are we still in Kansas?
I once had a chiropractor make a pass at me,
did I ever tell you that? He said that your spine
is happiest when you’re snuggling. Sounds kind
of sweet now when I tell you, but he was a creep.
Do you know that I have never understood what they meant
by “grassy knoll.” It sounds so idyllic, a place to go
to dream your life away, not kill somebody. They
should have called it something like “the grudging notch.”
But I guess that’s life. What is it they always say?
“It’s always the sweetest ones that break your heart.”
You getting hungry yet, hon? I am. When I was seven
I sat in our field and ate an entire eggplant
right off the vine. Dad loves to tell that story,

but I still can’t eat eggplant. He says I’ll be the first
woman President, it’d be a waste since I talk so much.
Which do you think the fixtures are in the bathroom
at the White House, gold or brass? It’d be okay with me
if they were just brass. Honey, can we stop soon?
I really hate to say it but I need a lady’s room.


  1. 1) i bought the steve hillage cd just to get his version of hurdy gurdy man

    2) speaking of donovan songs with great electric guitar, on donovan's next album after hurdy gurdy man he did barabajagal with the jeff beck group

    2a) my favorite donovan song with saxophone solo is "get thy bearings"

    3) james tate probably intends "ping-gong" to indicate to us that we have an unreliable narrator - "kerosine" in your blog post title, however, seems to be simply a slip of the fingers

    4) i've signed up for a MOOC through coursera called "Growing Old Around the World" - the short course name is OldGlobe - one of the discussion forum threads is "Poets on Aging" - you can't read it without signing up for the course, alas (i just checked)

    on that thread, in addition to quoting a chunk of Wikipedia's article on shakespeare's "the 7 ages of man", i also pointed out that the course nickname could be seen as an implicit reference to the bard

    4a)i have to assemble a "portfolio" of weekly short essays to get credit for the course, and there are lots of threads to comment on, so my participation here may be a little less until after independence day (the summer holiday in honor of war, i mean - our spring holiday in honor of war is about to occur, and what was once armistice day is now the fall holiday in honor of war - have i already argued here for completing the cycle of the seasons by rebranding as the winter holiday in honor of war feb. 14, "my soldier valentine's day"? - yes i did, on andy partridge's 60th birthday)

    4b)coursera is free, but for $49 i can get a Verified Certificate with Signature Track, suitable for framing (if i print it out myself - the certificate is electronic, actually)

    5)speaking of profiles in courage, i heard on tv that a good friend of the racist slurs' owner has trademarked the name bravehearts - which seems in some ways to refer to our european - specifically british - heritage, although of course it also includes the common term for an adult indigenous american male and so provides continuity

  2. "The day Chris Floyd, Arthur Silber, Tarzie, and Michael Kinsley woke up in bed together."

    That would be my blog post title, if I wanted to waste time blogging about that stuff anymore.

    1. It does seem a case of motherfucking triangulation - Greenwald hated equally from both ends of the spectrum - though I still find myself unable to be damnless: if the choice is fuck Greenwald for saying anything versus fuck Greenwald for not saying everything I vote the latter.

    2. I vote to hell with the assholes pulling all this shit. Our owners, and such as.

      Bitching about how Greenwald should have done it? OK, to a point. But I don't believe there is any slam dunk for Tarzie, Silber, etc. that their way would have been any more effective.

      And they're way past that point now. He's the white whale, and they're Ahab.

    3. I'd add, though no one will care, a day late, that these guys forget that not everyone is immediately where they are, as far as political positions, etc, go. Silber used to be an Ayn Rand acolyte, for christ's sake.