Friday, November 14, 2014

That a Portal Exists in My Wall That Even Its Makers Can't Govern Seems an Accurate Mirror of Life, or: Pass the Hatchet, I Think I'm Goodkind, or: It Is Cruel and Blind and Does Not Compensate the Brutal Fracture Leaves Sprout All Over Out in the Heart of the Garden or: Theme Songs November 2014


Bill Hicok

The telephone company calls and asks what the fuss is.
Betty from the telephone company, who’s not concerned
with the particulars of my life. For instance
if I believe in the transubstantiation of Christ
or am gladdened at 7:02 in the morning to repeat
an eighth time why a man wearing a hula skirt of tools
slung low on his hips must a fifth time track mud
across my white kitchen tile to look down at a phone jack.
Up to a work order. Down at a phone jack. Up to a work order.
Over at me. Down at a phone jack. Up to a work order
before announcing the problem I have is not the problem
I have because the problem I have cannot occur
in this universe though possibly in an alternate
universe which is not the responsibility or in any way
the product, child, or subsidiary of AT&T. With practice
I’ve come to respect this moment. One man in jeans,
t-shirt and socks looking across space at a man
with probes and pliers of various inclinations, nothing
being said for five or ten seconds, perhaps I’m still
in pajamas and he has a cleft pallet or is so tall
that gigantism comes to mind but I can’t remember
what causes flesh to pile that high, five or ten seconds
of taking in and being taken in by eyes and a brain,
during which I don’t build a shot gun from what’s at hand,
oatmeal and National Geographics, or a taser from hair
caught in the drain and the million volts of frustration
popping through my body. Even though. Even though his face
is an abstract painting called Void. Even though
I’m wondering if my pajama flap is open, placing me
at a postural disadvantage. Breathe I say inside my head,
which is where I store thoughts for the winter. All
is an illusion I say by disassembling my fists, letting each
finger loose to graze. Thank you I say to kill the silence
with my mouth, meaning fuck you, meaning die
you shoulder-shrugging fusion of chipped chromosomes
and pus, meaning enough. That a portal exists in my wall
that even its makers can’t govern seems an accurate mirror
of life. Here’s the truce I offer: I'll pay whatever’s asked
to be left alone. To receive a fax from me stand beside
your mailbox for a week. It will come in what appears
to be an envelope. While waiting for the fax reintroduce
yourself to the sky. It’s often blue and will transmit
without fail everything clouds are trying to say to you.

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