Wednesday, September 19, 2012

humans falling over and their faces hitting the pavement or the carpet, or the grass or the side of a coffee table or some dog shit

HEY! New Sea and Cake. Longtimers can vouch I've always love love love. DOUBLE HEY! They're playing Black Cat October 24! I already have my and Earthgirl's tickets, let's eat dinner first then go to the show! Tickets are only $15, they're general admission, so hurry!

A taxonomy of dog-owners and dogshit from my neighborhood's listserv:

No way to phrase this delicately, but this is not a tasteful subject:

MOST Dog Walkers know that DOG POOP does NOT belong in RECYCLING CONTAINERS.

WHOEVER you are who doesn't know OR doesn't care: we're so pleased that you're taking the trouble to "scoop the poop". But would it be that much more trouble to carry your bag of scooped poop back to your own home and trash cans? We don't appreciate your dumping it in our containers full of green recycling -- and the county employees who have to deal with the aftermath won't either.


(1) OPPORTUNISTS: TRASH DAY brings out the opportunists who can't resist the attraction of an open container full of brush, standing at the curb, waiting for pickup. Ah, so convenient, and who will ever notice?


He/She operates on ANY DAY of the week, and before dawn.
His/Her MODUS OPERANDI - based on our post-discovery, Sherlockian deductions, made in the light of day:
Walks up our driveway, past our parked car; then throws bag of scooped poop in one of our partially-filled green-recycling containers;
Exits our driveway by walking across our property, then across our neighbors' lawn and driveway, back to the sidewalk.

To these FEW UNFORTUNATE EXCEPTIONS in the dog-walking community, whether you are:

(1) A Simply Thoughtless OPPORTUNIST,

(2) An Enterprising AND Trespassing BRAZEN OPPORTUNIST,

Please STOP dumping your dog's poop where it doesn't belong!

The NEIGHBORS you pass on your dog-walking route will thank you for being more considerate;

Your FELLOW DOG WALKERS will thank you for NOT besmirching their reputation!

The person who wrote this lets his kids cut through our yard down the hill through Earthgirl's garden. Haha, boys! gosh I'm sorry, get in the car, over and over. Fine metaphors abound.

gigantic mountains

Brandon Scott Morrell

when aliens come to the earth

they will land on top of gigantic mountains

they will see the people everywhere

each alien will communicate telepathically with another alien

on the opposite side of the sphere

that is its clone and itself at the same time

like an atom in quantum physics

the same alien in two places at once

and this multiplied by millions

on top of gigantic mountains

'the strategy is to destroy humans'

each alien will tell itself and its clone

humans will understand this strategy once

the killing started, immediately happening

in two places on opposite ends of the world at

once, an alien and itself

murdering two humans by looking at their faces

then that happening repeatedly or something

for some amount of time

the humans falling over and their faces hitting the pavement

or the carpet, or the grass

or the side of a coffee table

or some dog shit


there will be resistance

soldiers on all parts of the earth will fight with lasers

citizen militias will hold resistance meetings

a resistance against death

a no-death resistance

a movement for death later

a movement for a different, still-uncontrollable death

'humans don't want to die this way'

will be their manifesto, one sheet of paper

or a piece of cardboard or something


there will be humans in basements looking at each other

wandering, solitary humans that want more to find another human than to avoid dying

solitary, severely depressed and/or enlightened humans that commit suicide by seeking out alien faces and looking at them; these humans may feel happy inside an insane nervous breakdown

humans that kill other humans because they feel insane

humans that sit in a corner, feeling extremely small, maybe considering intense killing rampages/some indefinable, positive emotion for humanity

humans that watch tv, use the internet to read the newspaper, and drive their cars around; they will be motionless on couches with their eyes open


the fish and insects and trees

will have the ocean and the forest

pretty sure they won't care


  1. I still get the old template on my desk computer, but home and other work stations have switched, the BRAZEN OPPORTUNIST.

    If you really wanted to start a ruckus, and you do, you should put a sign up, DON'T BE A BRAZEN OPPORTUNIST KEEP OUT OF GARDEN.

    Don't get better by drinking? Pshaw.

  2. That through the garden thing? Bamboo stakes.

  3. Bamboo stakes need a pit (camouflaged, of course) to be truly effective.

  4. This is a fine link.

    From the beginning of the Obama phenomenon, before the 2008 election, I have been asking Obama-mad campus town liberals to tell me if there was any particular line in the sand Obama could cross where they would withdraw support for him.

    The Obama Administration responded to the killings of innocent people with our drone strikes by redefining "militant". That didn't do it.

    And throwing trillions at the banksters while protecting them from prosecution didn't do it. Too difficult to understand, or the Republicans would have done it, too, etc.

    I wonder if cutting Social Security will. The response I get from raising Obama's repeated efforts to get that job done is, "It was just kabuki! He pulled one over on the Republicans! It'll never happen."

    I think he's got Social Security on the chopping block, and it's going to happen.