Friday, February 15, 2019

bizarrely prescient authority on my own deterioration

  • What better time to fly to Michigan then dead of winter, tomorrow even?
  • I get my giftmas present from Planet, dinner at Seva, tomorrow night!
  • We're meeting a real estate agent and looking at three houses tomorrow afternoon, I'm told!
  • Where these houses are in Michigan there is not a hill in two hundred fucking miles
  • My daughter won't be my age in 2052, we are ruled by sociopaths, world be gone
  • Purist democrat me, honoring losing 2-1 in honest elections against insurmountable odds




  • Nothing soon, is exploratory, my two who always out-vote me say
  • Tweeted yesterday re: Hilltop don't do no scheduled maintenance
  • sign of Hilltop's incompetence they haven't bought my ass out
  • Buy me out, please, even if it means I move to Michigan
  • This is why I can't use blogger as digital notebook no matter how much copy/pasting digital notebooks to blogger sucks, but at least I didn't talk about two of my coworkers here
  • who are what I wrote about in analog notebook last night
  • Out of nowhere this came into my head (today) yesterday:




                   

THE WOUND

Franz Wright

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

You Had to Work Hard All Your Life to Achieve It, a Power Over You Steadily Increasing in Direct Proportion to Disbelief In It






THE PROBLEM

Franz Wright

Pretty soon you won't be doing that to get high.

You'll be doing it to get dressed.

Your time-traveler seminar will be meeting in room 250
                      Tuesday three years ago.


Eine Kleine Death Music.

You're fired, actually.

You weren't born that way.

And it didn't happen overnight, no, you had to work hard all
                       your life to achieve it;


a power over you steadily increasing in direct proportion to
                       disbelief in it,

to the very evident fulfillment of your greatest fear:

you're going to live. When you wanted to quit

you could not, and when you could - 

When you could you weren't about to.

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

BfLiElGlGeArL

  • Yesterday was Tina Louise's birthday, famous to me and my generation of junior high boys for her being half of the crucial question: Ginger or Maryanne? plus
  • best TV's toggle from black and white to color
  • black and white "and the rest" color "the Professor and Maryanne"
  • I can't speak what's filler here, many of the posts I wonder fillerish to me I like best on rereading
  • You haven't noticed, but I've been posting fewer headlining birthdays of late
  • posting only those who still enter my consciousness on days other than their birthdays (though if 
  • someone who only enters my consciousness on birthday but I've a post in pot bubblefarting
  • I can enter it as a bullet in a drive-by shooting)




  • Above by davidly thanks!
  • Daily clusterfuck this clusterfuck that, filler
  • - feature, not bug, remember those Catholic high school kids from Cincinnati, me neither -
  • Filler: daily motherfuckingdemocratting
  • Today's motherfucking Democrats ritual shaming of and forced begging forgiveness from a Democratic Muslim congresswoman who dared claim the lobbying joint AIPAC, get this, buys power
  • mention, filler?
  • I purposely did not say a word to the technicians at the glass shop on Sunday when they replaced the shattered window to hear what they'd say unprompted about the hole
  • they said nothing

Sunday, February 10, 2019

parties thereof and clause of claws

  • We hiked Browning Run Trail of Little Bennett yesterday since I posted about it Thursday 
  • yesterday morning at MOCO Trail's tweeter released the block on hiking natural trails in MOCO
  • I've improved my layering strategy because fuck coldfuck cold
  • short sleeve wick long sleeve wick short sleeve heavy cotton t-shirt polyester hoodie polyester vest
  • I don't want to live in Michigan
  • Worth mentioning again, the colors of this winter's woods
  • the absence of yellow weebles my wobbles 
  • learning gray's so many gradations worth it




  • The Rise of the Strongman, American style.
  • Elkin's Bad Man: a novel for our time, capitalism, it's first mate consumerism, it's enforcer the greedherders - Bad Man's Leo Feldman, Franchiser's Ben Flesh, Dick Gibson's Dick Gibson, Bailbondsman's Alexander Main, etc....
  • The unseemliness of animal competition, the celebration of, the exhortation to, the holyness its held
  • The unseemliness of winning, the unseemliness of breaking even, the unseemly glee at cheating the losers
  • The animal animal unseemliness of daily life for those of us who doesn't think oneself an animal
  • the animal unseemliness of daily life for those of us who do
  • I'm a third in, Elkin has mentioned but only cameoed Freedman and Victman and Dedman
  • I've only had passing words and my first most positive report card with death threat undertones from Warden Fisher
  • I wear Earthgirl hats until temp and/or windchills in twenties
  • for that and lower










FORECLOSURE

Lorine Niedecker

Tell em to take my bare walls down
my cement abutments
their parties thereof
and clause of claws

Leave me the land
Scratch out: the land

May prose and property both die out
and leave me peace

Friday, February 8, 2019

Everybody's Fruggin



  • So, my car was shot last night on the Beltway, Inner Loop, uphill towards Old Georgetown after the Big Curve.
  • That's the vent window on the passenger door to the right of the passenger window that goes up and down.
  • Photo bigger and pivoted as sacrifice to Fuck May What.
  • I thought it was a rock, but the guy at glass place said, a hole that round, the whole window didn't shatter, it wasn't a rock, it was a


Thursday, February 7, 2019

lonely as the red noses of four clowns

  • Two photos in six hours yesterday of Maryland hiking talisman for us, a tweet saying I can't hike at a photo of the trail we hike most often (Browning Run, best in park) and a Post article about a town we drive through a dozen times a year to get to the AT.
  • I'm fine w NL teams losing World Series because they don't invest millions in half a baseball player
  • Is weird, I'm a cranky old bastard about National League baseball, I know the hired help want it, but I hate the DH, go ahead and kill it. Please.
  • The experience of experience.
  • Dear Virginia Democrats: give me $50 and I'll never visit to Richmond again, will swerve by on 295.
  • It's working:



  • I didn't think it would
  • jinxed now it still might
  • Found at Second Story on Parklawn month or two ago
  • Hamster, Eddie from 848 works late nights
  • I currently abhor dialogue in novels, it dawned on me, my problem with novels now
  • I've been able only to read Murnane and Proust, not a coincidence
  • dialogue, no one talks in real life like characters in novels are typed talking (except Gaddis characters)
  • I can't
  • but Elkin knows, so his logorrhea works, it always has.
  • Hey, there's new Bob Mould:





GRACIOUS LIVING                "TARA"

Tom Raworth

lonely as four cherries on a tree
at night, new moon, wet roads
a moth or a snowflake
whipping past glass
      
lonely as the red noses of four clowns
thrust up through snow
their shine four whitened panes
drawn from imagined memory
      
lonely as no other lives
touching to recorded water
all objects stare
their memories aware
      
lonely as pain
recoiling from itself
imagining the cherries
and roses reaching out