Monday, December 13, 2010

Instead of Leader We Had Louder, Instead of Lover, Never

Saturday afternoon we drove to Edgewater to have dinner with Hamster. First on the Beltway then on 50-East we passed beneath at least seven overhead traffic alert signs urging us to please please please report suspicious behavior. For at least the past two months, unless there was a traffic notification for which the signs were designed (?), the OMFG! CALL ME! message has been flashing.

Now this:

Shoppers at Walmart will soon have something other than glossy magazines and chewing gum to look at when in the checkout line: A "video message" from the Department of Homeland Security asking them to look out for "suspicious" activity and report it immediately.

It's part of a new Department of Homeland Security program that could see Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano's face on video screens in malls, retail outlets and hotels across the United States.

The Walmart video, which will soon be launched at 230 locations nationwide and may eventually be expanded to nearly 600 locations in 27 states, features Napolitano thanking the retailer by name for participating in the program.

Napolitano then says: "If you see something suspicious in the parking lot or in the store, say something immediately. Report suspicious activity to your local police or sheriff. If you need help, ask a Walmart manager for assistance."

For your safety, for the security of the country, run screaming to a Walmart manager!

Lambert finds an ulterior motive. Me, I think Corporate is puny, thinks you're punier, feeds you Puny Chow to make you ever punier though you'll never be puny enough for Corporate, but I am a rube.


Catherine Wing

Then came the darker sooner,
came the lower later.
We were no longer a sweeter-here
happily-ever-after. We were after ever.
We were farther and further.
More was the word we used for harder.
Lost was our standard-bearer.
Our gods were fallen faster,
and fallen larger.
The day was duller, duller
was disaster. Our charge was error.
Instead of leader we had louder,
instead of lover, never. And over this river
broke the winter's black weather.


  1. "Obamargeddonists"

    I'll have to remember that one!


  2. Fuck you Wal-Mart and DHS, our campus had the See Something, Say Something gig way back in '05. I once saw a guy litter, I think he's in Guantanamo now.