Sunday, March 17, 2013

Metros 0, United 0

Enjoy watching Bill Hamid through this season if we're lucky, the August transfer window most likely. Oh, game was early afternoon, I had no one to talk to so I talked to myself on Evernote trying to beat it's auto-correct. I won't use this gag again until I do. I mention Hamid early because he (and the crossbar) is clearly man-of-the-match, but also because Evernote calls him humid in the transcript below:

Revenge is here says the metro fans TiVo
Korb, jakovic, McDonald, Riley/Saragossa, kitchen, Pontius, Deleon/ derossairo, parody.
230 Riley horrible giveaway ny free kick.
300 Henry fouls parody, glares at parody, who the fuck are you?
500 dero earns freek kick deep right, Pontius takes, nothing, leads after scramble to weak shot bt dero
730 Henry shot save by humid leads to corner, nothing.
Replay if Henry had it it square humid wouldn't have got.
900 united breakaway dero has ball keeper out nothing but leads to ck. nothing.
1230 after midfield dancing ny gets fk, nothing. First ten minutes adrenalin done.
1540 Lordy Pajoy has no touch, brilliant ball from dero and gack, suck.
1830 ball in ny half, not dangerous but discovering holes.
1900 united touches either too fast or too slow, no rhythm yet, but just earned s ck on dumb touch by ny.
2000 Saragossa airball s on cross, Deleon kicks it 20 wide 20 high.
2200 nodax still sucks.
2330 jakovic bad pass leads to ny header off crossbar. 
2400 yellow card Cahill for bad tackle on Deleon. 
2600 don't know if that was on Pajoy oar Deleon but they don't plat we'll together.
2700 united pressing everything deep works third doesn't two thirds ny breakaway.
2800 Lordy Pajoy sucks, doesn't play we'll with Deleon.
2900 ny dominating possession, creating chances.
All damn day - deleon's hair is stupid, as is announcers talking abut Deleon being on klinssmanns radar.
3100 dero cross to Pajoy nothing he could do another long ball to Henry, third or fourth, it's working, lead to ck. nothing.
3300 Henry in his shirt with us flag, so stupid, so American, insist of flags on uniforms.
3500 jakovic ok in defense but with ball is crap.
3700 ny dominating, earns ck.
3800 humid hacks ck, bobbles, recovers.
3900 metros already warming up.
3900 united fk rift 40 yards, dero, wasted.
4000 ny in box again, thank Baal they suck too.
4100 Pontius should have earned fk but also should had done better.
4200 derossairo not involved enough, barely touching the ball, he's asking not getting.
4300 Henry shoots again catches on chest, drops to foot, pretty, no power thoug, right at humid.
4400 if united has had a decent fk or ck today I've forgot it, very sh itty.
4500 just eleven seconds stoppage. 
Benny smiles into microphone, says metros putting two on Pontius wherever he goes, united need defend against breakaway, tale better care of the bal. 
Second half no changes united. No changes metros.
4530 Pajoy runs himself offside on set play off kickoff. Totally stupid.
4600 kitchen fortunate to not get yellow on bad tackle.
4730 Henry soft header right at humid. 
4800 united breakaway slows outside to Pajoy who crosses, dero whiffs on bicycle. united has had at least three rushes man up or equal and doesn't seem know what to do.
5000 unlisted fk, Deleon good fk, punched sesy, Saragossa hits rebound off ny for ck nothing.
5150 excellent should to shoulder tackle. Box by jakovic, RSI,t his best play of game.
5200 good thing ny sucks too.
5400 secretly riffed so far, Geiger starting to lost a bit of control.
5500 off cross bar ny, too much possession in box.
5630 didn't Pontius used to be 13, changed to 11?
5700 Pontius barely touching ball, derossairo anew touching ball.
5730 Henry gets behind McDonald misses high from tough angle. 
5830 feels like ny score inevitable.
5900 although good entry from dero to Pontius who touches well, spins, saved.
6000 kit hen foul on the impressive Espindola, close to yellow on next foul.
6030 pajoy fucks up breakaway, leads to ny breeasksey leads to ny ck, nothing.
6200 Espindola fouls a kitchen like he meant it.
6300 then fouls Saragossa, takes yellow.
6330 graphics - shots ny 16 united 4.
6400 Deleon and Pajoy don't play we'll together.
6500 screen shot shows Benny telling asst to go to warming up and tell someone to get ready fast.
6530 screamer from ny from 30 yards, just misses top left corner. 
6600 united back line looking tired, slow,
6630 Hamada saves Cahill at goal mouth, united cant clear, great wave humid,
6700 united being completely outclasses.
6730 ny first sub, NBC hasn't told me who.
6800 gervinho for Steele.
6900 united hasn't had possession n five minted, Saragossa saves goal on line.
7000 Ruiz in for Pajoy. Fuck Pajoy, he sucks.
7100 bit of lull, united passing around back to catch breath. 
7200 ny pushing seven forward, has few concerns re united count attack.
7300 no that wasn't s handball Henry you ass.
7500 united has no energy, their passes are slow the are slow to the ball. There are fitnes issues.
7600 derossairo oz out Sanchez in. Door didn't look good at all.
7700 united playing ping in midfield,
7730 juninho, not gervinho. In either case, yellow card.
7820 Sanchez dispossessed. He's small, not strong.
7900 good thing metros suck too.
8000 kitchen on breakaway, there's a reason he's a defensive mid,
8200 united now playing for point
8230 so many weak slow passes that united does hurry to.
8300 take 40 seconds to take a fk from own zone. Killing time. 
8430 cross almost makes it to Ruiz, first time in box in ten minutes. 
8600 united doesn't bother to build out for back, it's whack e ball downhill.
8630 psst.. Henry isn't very good anymore.
8730 and he cries for pk on weak header.
8800 and may have just blown out his knee. Just kidding he's washed up diving bastard. He's up now, being removed.
8900 kit)3! Whacks Espindola, heh,
9000 NBC won't say how much stoppage.
9100 ny ck. ny claiming goal, humid saved goals,, looed like good save.
9200 ny didn't protest that much.
9300 ny cries for handball, no. 
9330 that's that. Steal a point. humid is man of the match. No one else in con station.

We need to talk about Pajoy. Notice how at first Evernote's auto-correct called him parody, me thinking, hey, an auto-correct with an ironic sense of humor, which maybe it does since I typed Pajoy sucks so often it let me have my way.

Midfield is a mess. Saragosa is slow and heavy-touches and soft-passes, when I think better John Thorrington or Lewis Neal, why are they the three choices? Olsen commented on NBC at half that Metros were doubling Pontius everywhere (so much a threat Metros considered Pajoy), Pontius rarely touched ball anywhere near danger (with one good exception around 60th), and when he went right (cause he can't go left) right meant backwards towards humid. And I don't get the anointing of DeLeon as special (the NBC voices said DeLeon had worked himself onto Klinsmann's radar), his first touches are almost Pajoy shitty, his passes behind the moving target to start and slow to boot to boot. Badumpdump.

Early and yadda. Three games, two difficult road games, four points, incoherent play because of DeRossario's suspension, the back line looks good (though Jakovic can't pass for shit and Riley seems good for two brain farts a game), Kitchen is excellent, and Bill Hamid is the future of American keepers, barring injury (and USMNT not making Brazil, a very real possibility) Bill Hamid is first keeper in Brazil in 2014 and starting for some European top division team as early as this September. So, Columbus at home next Saturday at 330. More next Sunday, with photos!

1 comment:

  1. Sanchez is a smaller, much less skilled version of Najar. The bigger kids just take the ball away from him.

    And what is Olsen's beef with DPs not named Dwayne. Rafael (not sure why he's a DP) wasn't even in the 18.