Friday, January 28, 2011

As They Continue to Populate This Fertile Land with Their Own Bizarre Self-Imaginings

Did you know Washington DC has a professional soccer team?

It's true! and BITE ME! just what I needed: the motherfuckers, coming off the shittiest season in team and league history, introduce a third kit, the motherfuckers.
It's every hardcore supporters' dream: the third kit.

D.C. United will unveil its new outfit Saturday at 2 p.m. at the Washington Auto Show at the convention center. (The club is sponsored by Volkswagen, after all.) Several players will model the uniforms at the event and a 15-by-15-foot replica jersey will hang from the convention center lobby for the duration of the week-long show.

The new kit was created by adidas and will prominently feature a VW logo. It's unclear when it will debut during the season. Fans can purchase the jersey for $110 on the club's Web site.

Please note in comments how no one but one (as of 8:00 AM 1/28/11) BDR232 (who only double-posted because YFWP is skeevy) blurted ANY! moral objection.

I don't begrudge United the money, but another stupid romantic illusion shot to hell.

Serendipitously, the storm took our power, and while I want it back a second ago, it wouldn't do me harm to be made to wait until Monday (because while I love you, I'm not coming to library over the weekend just to internet). Meanwhile, this and this:


John Ashbery

Something was about to go laughably wrong,
whether directly at home or here,
on this random shoal pleading with its eyes
till it too breaks loose, caught in a hail of references.
I’ll add one more scoop
to the pile of retail.

Hey, you’re doing it, like I didn’t tell you
to, my sinking laundry boat, point of departure,
my white pomegranate, my swizzle stick.
We’re leaving again of our own volition
for bogus patterned plains streaked by canals,
maybe. Amorous ghosts will pursue us
for a time, but sometimes they get, you know, confused and
forget to stop when we do, as they continue to populate this
fertile land with their own bizarre self-imaginings.
Here’s hoping the referral goes tidily, O brother.
Chime authoritatively with the pop-ups and extras.
Keep your units pliable and folded,
the recourse a mere specter, like you have it coming to you,
awash with the new day and its abominable antithesis,
OK? Don’t be able to make that distinction.


  1. thank you
    the DCD version...

    be well

  2. The NYRB gang should break out Axis & Allies, order some takeout, and be done with it.

  3. I got upset when college basketball instituted a TV timeout. A sell out that changed in-game tactics, slowed down the game, gave winning underdogs a chance to let the favorites back in, etc., etc.

    You're still always whining about Eric Clapton and what was it Michelob? something I once held against him, too.

    But no complaint about a VW logo on your team's kit? I mean, I've got nothing against VW, I've put 130,000 miles on the one in my garage. It's a pretty cool logo, too, for that matter. But Emirates? Vodaphone? Whatever. Why do this sport's true fans tolerate this profanity?

    (Fully recognizing what I've posted on this site numerous times: soccer will never become major in this country b/c there's no chance for it to sell TV commercial time.)

    Be well.

  4. You know the first and ...cough cough... best response is always to assume it's the plumage and not the bird nor his flight.

    In my two main activities, MTBing and skiing, people commonly talk to me about needing "a better bike" or "better skis" to become a better rider or skier. I try to tell them that they would better spend their time learning how to ride or ski, but they can't be expected to hear that.

    Naturally when such folks are Supporters of a football squad, they're gonna assume the Team needs new cleats or kit when they're not playing well. So of course Management responds in that direction.



    Track Human Switchboard forward to The Schramms, bro-heem!

  5. Sheeyit, in disc golf we say it's not the arrow but the indian. Hey, Bromark, check out the Vulcan!

    I posted some Schramms while you were in the Internet poorhouse. I post some more next post or two.

    Shirt sponsorship never bothered me, and I'd rather have the decent VW logo than the Amway scam on San Jose's, frinstance.

  6. Schramms is harder to find in Toobzland. I remember no hits on YouTube but some decent .mp3 files at the band website and the occasional hit on places like Pandora or LastFM.

    As an aesthetic thing I don't mind a few logos but subjectively dislike the Human Billboard, and enjoy being the arbiter of when the Billboard status has arisen.

    But as a sports thing, I don't see the point of the logos. If the logos are other than those of the makers of the equipment being used/worn, they have nothing to do with the sport itself.

    Naively, like an old grouch, I dislike "sponsorship" in all its guises. Don't accuse me of jealousy, though. I test tires for a major MTB tire maker and effectively am sponsored by them since I haven't bought a tire in over 2 years. DOH!

  7. Yeah, I can't find any touyoobs now - a couple were sent to me by a friend; I'll see if she can dig them up for me. Meanwhile.

  8. I've 4 or 5 unthrown molds waiting for the first non-crappy day.

  9. Speaking of Schramms, Dave's old band YLT (after Switchboard) is in town tonight. Can't go, but did last time they were here.

    Amway. Sheesh.