Wednesday, December 21, 2011

You Must Come to Them Sideways in Rooms Webbed in Shadow

I confess I like twitter. The spontaneity, here, before I forget, have. I can see why a Saudi prince invests $300M: why not make money off the dopes while they self-spy for you? I just thought about tweeting those three sentences, maybe my wit will drive up my followers count. Tell me, these women with pornstar names and California zen taglines who've never tweeted but have thousands of followers, why are they following me? I shouldn't bolster my esteem by their devotion, yes?

Planet needed a new phone so we went to the Corporate Store. She got a iPhone 4s, which means she can ask her phone what color is a carrot and get immediate and accurate response. I thought about getting myself (I'm due an upgrade) an antique iPhone 4 (that doesn't know a carrot's color) for half the price of the soon to be obsolete iPhone 4s but decided no, then thought, I wish I'd brought my new Kindle Fire so I could check my email.


Charles Simic

You must come to them sideways
In rooms webbed in shadow,
Sneak a view of their emptiness
Without them catching
A glimpse of you in return.
The secret is,
Even the empty bed is a burden to them,
A pretense.
They are more themselves keeping
The company of a blank wall,
The company of time and eternity
Which, begging your pardon,
Cast no image
As they admire themselves in the mirror,
While you stand to the side
Pulling a hanky out
To wipe your brow surreptitiously.


  1. Francisco Franco is still dead.

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm pretty sure that Sasha and I have to go hold on to each other to keep from falling down dead while we cackle over this post's opening bars. For the loving record: tangy piquant self-parody, laced with not nearly enough genuine self-loathing. I suggest that you resume smoking to compensate, though cutting should not be necessary.

    I must also note that you should absolutely follow every single pornstar name that follows you. It's only good etiquette. Also, yes, get a ginormous chubby when someone named Eve Teentang follows you. Definitely. All the cool kids are doing it.

  2. Oh, crap. I slipped. I meant to say "tangy piquant self-parody with soft undertones of cherry, vanilla, and a recycled tire fire in Manila, laced with..."

    Totally my bad.

    Also: Franco=van Vliet, not the Armenian. Mileage varies and yours is as good as mine, of course.

  3. YFWP really hates Newt Gingrich. Speculate why.

    Because they're afraid the G.O.P. will lose BIG with the Newt, and then Iran won't get nuked and Social Security won't get cut. (I know, both of those things are likely anyway, but it's The War Criminal Post.)

  4. Clutch away Landru. It's the time of year when all amusement is appreciated.

  5. When you visit Twitter, they don't just put cookies on your computer, they also establish a database.

  6. Yes, I assume so, especially since it's always cross-referencing people I'm following and suggesting others I might enjoy following. A friend also told me this morning that there are some people who follow anyone and everyone in hopes that they'll be followed back in contests to see who can get the most followers.

    I like it for the links people I follow push through and the links I can push through to them. I'll leave the address up on blog, but I'm done humping it in posts

  7. Mentioned this elsewhere, but twitter is for people who can afford data plans. That ain't the poor, as a rule.

  8. That was the primary reason it was easy for me to say no to the iPhone. I'll keep the dumb phone and $30 per month in my pocket.

    Speaking of dumb phones, the Corporate Store had ZERO on display. I asked the salesperson, do you not sell dumb phones anymore, and she said they do online but not in stores, said she couldn't remember the last time someone asked her about a dumb phone other than to get one already owned fixed.

  9. I have a smart phone without a data plan. Works just fine at no extra charge.