Friday, August 16, 2013

but she still looked good to me, she still looked good, and all thanks to an ugly horse who wrote this poem

I learned that while I am still addicted to telling anyone willing to read what I think I think if I'm not less addicted I'm at least more interested in exploring the improbability of ceasing to daily disingenuously bemoan that addiction and take steps towards actively shutting the fuck up about the addiction, I said at Thursday Night Pints at questions of What the fuck was with the static? Lamest fucking post ever, said L, all agreed. Most of the evening's talk, as always, can't/don't/won't be mentioned here. Most of what I want to talk about, I in fact said, I can't/don't/won't onblog. And then we talked about the things I can't/don't/won't blog about and things K and L wanted to talk about. K said, my sister's husband has a blog he only allows invitees to read, you could do that. That's lame and cowardly, I said. L said, that's like the family letter your uncle mails with the Christmas card that details the year of his immediate family. Walter, I said. Walter who? asked K. The Walter who gets mentioned in three sentences in Friday's post.


a 340 dollar horse and a 100 dollar whore

Charles Bukowski

don’t ever get the idea I am a poet; you can see me
at the racetrack any day half drunk
betting quarters, sidewheelers and straight thoroughs,
but let me tell you, there are some women there
who go where the money goes, and sometimes when you
look at these whores these onehundreddollar whores
you wonder sometimes if nature isn’t playing a joke
dealing out so much breast and ass and the way
it’s all hung together, you look and you look and
you look and you can’t believe it; there are ordinary women
and then there is something else that wants to make you
tear up paintings and break albums of Beethoven
across the back of the john; anyhow, the season
was dragging and the big boys were getting busted,
all the non-pros, the producers, the cameraman,
the pushers of Mary, the fur salesman, the owners
themselves, and Saint Louie was running this day:
a sidewheeler that broke when he got in close;
he ran with his head down and was mean and ugly
and 35 to 1, and I put a ten down on him.
the driver broke him wide
took him out by the fence where he’d be alone
even if he had to travel four times as far,
and that’s the way he went it
all the way by the outer fence
traveling two miles in one
and he won like he was mad as hell
and he wasn’t even tired,
and the biggest blonde of all
all ass and breast, hardly anything else
went to the payoff window with me.

that night I couldn’t destroy her
although the springs shot sparks
and they pounded on the walls.
later she sat there in her slip
drinking Old Grandad
and she said
what’s a guy like you doing
living in a dump like this?
and I said
I’m a poet

and she threw back her beautiful head and laughed.

you? you . . . a poet?

I guess you’re right, I said, I guess you’re right.

but still she looked good to me, she still looked good,
and all thanks to an ugly horse
who wrote this poem.


  1. Yep, those Christmas family letters are truly horrid. I love mocking them when I get 'em.

  2. re a new phenomology, the so-called ‘theological turn’ in contemporary French thought? in a word: pshaw

    in several words quoted from Jon Kabat-Zinn, who has adapted Zen and other Buddhist methods for use in a secular Western cultural context under the rubric of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, MBSR: "Some reflections on the origins of MBSR, skillful means, and the trouble with maps", in Contemporary Buddhism, Vol. 12, No. 1, May 2011.


    The author recounts some of the early history of what is now known as MBSR, and its relationship to mainstream medicine and the science of the mind/body connection and health. He stresses the importance that MBSR and other mindfulness-based interventions be grounded in a universal dharma understanding that is congruent with Buddhadharma but not constrained by its historical, cultural and religious manifestations associated with its countries of origin and their unique traditions. He locates these developments within an historic confluence of two very different epistemologies encountering each other for the first time, that of science and that of the meditative traditions. The author addresses the ethical ground of MBSR, as well as questions of lineage and of skillful ‘languaging’ and other means for maximizing the possibility that the value of cultivating mindfulness in the largest sense can be heard and embraced and cultivated in commonsensical and universal ways in secular settings. He directly addresses mindfulness-based instructors on the subject of embodying and drawing forth the essence of the dharma without depending on the vocabulary, texts, and teaching forms of traditional Buddhist environments, even though they are important to know to one degree or another as part of one's own development. The author's perspective is grounded in what the Zen tradition refers to as the one thousand year view. Although it is not stated explicitly in this text, he sees the current interest in mindfulness and its applications as signaling a multi-dimensional emergence of great transformative and liberative promise, one which, if cared for and tended, may give rise to a flourishing on this planet akin to a second, and this time global, Renaissance, for the benefit of all sentient beings and our world.

    [end of quote from abstract]

    re "two very different epistemologies encountering each other for the first time, that of science and that of the meditative traditions" - shinzen young has said, "I believe that the two most impressive discoveries of our species are the Eastern method of meditative exploration and the Western method of scientific exploration. Some people claim that meditation and science have mated, but I think they are just starting to date."

  3. type in - a transmission from pop. 1280 - .. . what was the question again .. . wo' ,it's fri day ..where have i been .. . .,yes all one line .. .

  4. and - david lynch "star dream girl " (official audio ) - .. high way, .. etc .. .

  5. Welcome back, and thanks for the link.

    I got the static. Loved it in your absence. My only question was whether you posted it with a timer set to post at x time or drafted and set it up ahead of time and remotely posted.

  6. Not going to click the link but because tables are glare-covered and too bright white and give you a headache. Sez she who reads trash on a Kindle Paperwhite. When I try to read a chapter on a tablet because I'm somewhere else without the Kindle, I last about 10 minutes.

    Now I have to get back to the study of the Premiere League and Europa.

  7. I just wish to note that I genuinely do not mind what you write as it's mostly damn honest, which after being alive for almost 27 years, I am reluctantly beginning to accept how god damn rare that is to find anywhere especially on the interwebs.

    So as long as you're addicted, know that I appreciate it. Perverse? Maybe, but eternally grateful.