Thursday, January 22, 2015

The Dog's at Pains to Reach a Sheaf of Shade

OK, that song I don't like as much as the one below this paragraph, the below song !!!! heard yesterday on Irwin's show. But the above is called Hamster, and, since I'm writing about family, shazam, Serendipity... BFF writes about Patriots Derangement Syndrome, good thing he has a blog. Forgive me, helmetball fascinates me, not the game itself but the religion. Lord Baal demandeth I not cheat lest the sanctity of the game be besmirched is one traditional homily, chanted by losers. Lord Baal demandeth any and all expediencies be conceived, gameplanned, and executed for victory: victory alone in an amoral world is moral, chanted by winners, is another. BFF then mentions Obama Derangement Syndrome, I assume he's talking about folk like me who despise Obama from the left more than those who despise him from the right, but I'm a narcissist. He then says Well, you know, that and utterly fucking addled about a fucking jingo movie about a lying, homicidal, psychopath war hero. But I'm gonna assert that the football is more important. What I think he's saying is fine metaphors abound, but I'm a narcissist. xoxo.


Heather McHugh

The horse in harness suffers;
he's not feeling up to snuff.
The feeler's sensate but the cook
pronounces lobsters tough.
The chain's too short: The dog's at pains
to reach a sheaf of shade. One half a squirrel's whirling there
upon the interstate. That rough around
the monkey's eye is cancer. Only God's
impervious—he's deaf and blind. But he's
not dumb: to answer for it all, his spokesmen
aren't allowed to come.


  1. Yeah, sorry, you're a narcissist. ODS has nothing to do with fake libertarianarchosyndicalism, or with you, not to actually associate you, even fringily, with any ism whatsoever, and your unfamiliarity with the ODS meme is telling (I'm not that original, this is actually a thing, in places you clearly don't read). You have legit reasons for your Obama dislike, despite existing in some 1-phase-click-off reality like those serpent things in "Time's Arrow," which can hardly be a bad thing, and is only discomforting in that I'm the closest thing you have to a Data or a LaForge in that regard, and I'm a really shitty blind Negro android. ODS is about people who actually think he's a socialist, or a Muslim, or a Kenyan, or a gangsta, or whathefuckever it is those people think. You (you have no ilk) are at the very, very worst a mild example of the man's amazing power to crystalize as a focus for personality cultism or obsessive psychopathy, and you're nowhere near either of those spectral extremes.

    I genuinely didn't think about you for a second while I was dashing that off (and thanks, by the way, for the linkage), except to the extent that I thought, "Boy, this will bore the shit out of BFF and he'll ignore it." Cheerful to be wrong about that (I forgot that helmetball is kayfaberiffic, completely my dumb in every conceivable respect and probably some that aren't conceivable), and cheerful that fine metaphors do, indeed, abound.

    And honestly? I'm ashamed to have even worked the stupid fucking sniper movie into my rant, even for cheap effect.

  2. Please note the time-stamp on my following Tweet. Jan 17. Totally b4 Seth Rogen or anyone else for that matter:

    langame @140xLangame · Jan 17

    #AmericanSniper is @ClintEastwood's #StolzderNation. Kudos to @QuenTarantino. Did u see this 1 coming? Another ham-handed #emptychair Clint?

    0 replies 1 retweet 0 favorites

    Why does no one follow me?

    1. It is like a Zen koan in reverse, Jim.

      For the record, signing a 31-year-old power pitcher to a seven year, back-loaded, $200M+ deal is motherfucking stupid. Thank you, Natinals (sic), for denting my buzz.

      The Spirit of Snyder is permeating D.C.?

    2. My working theory is that the Nats are trying to convert Metroland to a baseball town at the expense of Spirit of Snyder. The time to do it is this season while the area mocks the Slurs for winning off the field. A good and exciting season and pennant race, get to and win the World Series while the Slurs are still and perpetually a laughing stock? This has never been anything but a Slurs town, it probably will be again if the team ever is good, but the Nats might never get a bigger chance of changing that than this season. If that's the thinking the Scherzer deal looks smart. Not that that's probably the thinking.

    3. Yes, this is starting to look like the Nats' year, unless the Bravos can Moneyball it. They're going for pitching and obp and defense it seems, having jettisoned all their boppers.