Friday, December 2, 2022

Whipped Gouache Just About Covers the Situation

People important in my formative years (real life, academic life, novelists & poets, musicians) dying faster and faster all the freaking time. I've been using fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck as a label, thinking I will add a Dead This Year blegroll on January 1, 2023 with links to the respective fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck post, would do one for this year but that would be research... This getting old shit. Dying so fast I forget who died yesterday because someone else just died five minutes ago, the fuck

Two more CMcV songs for RIP. I've always thought of her as Mac's George, especially in the B-N years, band-dynamically, and holyfuck, her songs, the deepcuts

In ominous news for you, when I opened the bag from the art store in Baltimore to get my new watercolor brushes and new jug of Mod Podge I discover L's new tubes of red, blue, and yellow gouache, I'd never gouached before, uh-oh & o my, just in time, I've used up most of my fountain pen ink, maybe I don't need to (wash my hands with pumice everytime I use my fountain pen ink and watercolor washes) buy any more, at least not now, laugh, my first and certainly not last gouache ever:

A black man was lynched this week in Missouri
Missouri couldn't wait to lynch Kevin Johnson
White Americans have voted majority GOP in the last fourteen presidential elections
A eulogy for the emperor penguin
How capitalism destroyed the internet
Does this dipshit actually believe Biden isn't a corporate henchman who is just "missing an opportunity"?
Bipartisanship, fellow mooksMotherfucking Democrats
It's imperialism, stupid, partONETWO
I wrote a twoot at my congressmotherfucker
Why America's railroads refuse to give workers sick leave
My state's two motherfucking Democratic senators voted to fuckover railworkers
The City of Blind Windows, partONETWO
We hike through pawpaw groves all the time, rarely find one, animals get them first when they fall
Dream housesFluke events of acts of dog?
Avedon Carol's occasional links
The trouble w moneyThe trouble w normal
I vouch for Durban Poison but recommend the Superboof
#1278MemoryIt's not about the money
On the new Kathy Acker biography
The weak novel is a performance
Neil Young embraces imperfection
My daughter did not tweet this though she has said it to me


Lyn Hejinian

A star screen shimmers under the moon over the urban center flashing on it red
         and green
I’ll have a suspension, mustard, topicality, glue
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty
Whipped gouache just about covers the situation
In the Musée Unless there’s a fallen nest on display empty of an egg once
         belonging to a song bird, species unknown, which had sung
See style, see working late, see mismatched socks, see polyphony
It is the fate of logic infinitely to undo closure but that’s just to say that it’s the
         fate of logic infinitely to be logical
So like a man goes into a shop and there’s like this other man in there whom he
         thinks he recognizes and he says like do I know you
The fallen grass in winter sprawls its spring
Regulations state that the pier can accommodate no more than one troupe of
         acrobats, thirty fishermen, or fifty tourists
The child never gives up her secret, which—don’t tell—is that she has a secret,
         and her secret has a penis
We will lose another day from the inner picture—days are not ineradicable there
What is it that one is autobiographical about


  1. i would like to point to

    it's a somewhat autobiographically based discussion of the very last lines in the 1995 film Seven - stylized as Se7en

    "Ernest Hemingway once wrote 'the world is a fine place and worth fighting for', well, I agree with the second part."

  2. tern identifies self as a priest in oxford, england, and posted the following on twitter on dec 2, 2022 - the title here is one i suggest, not specifically chosen by the author


    I don't know if this will help anyone, but here goes.

    The first ten or so years of my life were pretty idyllic. Just amazing.
    But something happened in my family about then that messed everything up.
    It left my parents scarred.
    It left my family broken. I hit the harsh reality of the world very hard.

    My teenage years were an absolute mental and emotional wreck.
    Bad glandular fever, three sporting concussions, insomnia, and substance and alcohol abuse wrecked my brain. I had brain fog before it was trending.
    I escaped this hard and shitty world into fiction and fantasy. Fleeing to worlds that where stories could have good endings.

    My twenties were harder, but I started to find some stability in solitude and stillness.
    I went sober. I got into exercise. I started to sense that there was more than what we can see to this world.
    But I was still a wreck. I still couldn't figure out how to live in this messed up world. I was more stable, but I couldn't find my place or purpose.

    I love films, and I used to love the cinema. I'd sometimes go see three movies on my day off.
    One sunny afternoon, I went into the cinema to see Se7en.
    It's a brutal film, with a bleak end.
    When I exited the cinema the bright day had turned to wet gloom.
    There was a weight on my heart and the film had left a sadness on me like a weighted blanket.
    It lingered for days.
    So, I did what any sensible person would do, and went back to see it again.

    It was the very last lines of the film that got me.
    "Ernest Hemingway once wrote 'the world is a fine place and worth fighting for', well, I agree with the second part."
    That line sat with me.
    It sat, and sat, and then I got it.

    The world isn't a fine place.
    But it's worth fighting for.

    Every day of my life since has been lived according to that mantra.
    This world and its people (including me, and probably you) can be so shitty and mean.
    But I'm still going to fight for it.
    I don't know what that meant for Detective Somerset, but I know what it means for me.
    I fight for truth, love, justice, hope, kindness, integrity, authenticity, generosity, compassion. All the good stuff.
    You're on a journey yourself to find your purpose and your place.
    I hope you find yours.
    In the meantime, maybe consider joining the fight.

    Because the world isn't a fine place.
    But it's worth fighting for.

  3. more than one tweeter noted the likeness of tern's remarks to maggie smith's poem "good bones", which has appeared twice at this blog, each time with the honour of having the day's title taken from its text