You Must Come to Them Sideways

I'm sitting in my carrel debating where the best possible place I could wedge my body if an asshole with a semi-automatic systematically worked his way through the fourth floor including machine-gunning through carrels' locked doors, I think far left corner under the desk from where I type this, the filing cabinet under the desk would hopefully stop all but the floor scraping bullets and the angle of the wall means most of the bullets would ricochet away from me though what subsequent ricochets would inflict on me I don't know. I'd twist myself in a curl so my ass and legs take as much of the damage as possible though I think this means my death by shooting will linger much longer and with far more anguish than if I just took seven bullets directly to my head and body

Seethe. Mthrfckng this, mthrfckng that. Mthrfcking crckrs, mthrfckng Dmcrts, mthrfckng pgs, mthrfckng shtlrds. Have seethed, am seething, will seethe. I can't read, even poetry, I can't write, even poetry. I sit where I read and write and can't read and can't write. I can paint and watch paint dry



The clstrfck not as much fun as I thought it would be, debating whether I'll be shot in a shopping center parking lot or beaten to death by mthrfckng pigs before I'm eating catfood in my cardboard box condo in a mthrfckng chrstr dystopia after shtlrds steal my pension, 401K, and the house we own in full. Seething and painting = diminished pings from yinz; seething = increased pings from bots; laugh. I can paint the below but never emotionally achieve it though come the closest in the painting of it even though I can only paint placemats

CAPITALIST APPROPRIATION AND WORKER DISCIPLINE
*LL *OPS *RE *ASTARDS. Every single one
*LL *OPS *RE *ASTARDS. Every single one
I'm fckng agitated, are you going to kill me?
*LL *OPS *RE *ASTARDS. Every single one
*LL *OPS *RE *ASTARDS. Every single one
Fascism, the far right, and the threat to democracy
Shitlords WANT the internet to suck
Rerunning Biden's Blunderland, or: Today in mthrfckng Democrats
Shitlords will steal my pension and IRAs by 2030 and probably much sooner
Denial of Reality				FRESH HELL
Saving lives and making a killing
Maggie's weekly				MEAN IMAGES
Fiction just wasn’t speaking to me, there was too much going on in the real world that was previously unimaginable, & there were also things going on in my own life that were falling apart along w the country. Yet as a writer, writing the only way I knew how to process it.
THE SENSITIVE HET MALE MINORITY
{ feuilleton }'s weekly				If it's cooked on the same grill as dead animals it's not vegetarian
Reminder: this shitty blog's Seething Anthem							⤋

MIRRORS AT 4AM

Charles Simic

You must come to them sideways

In rooms webbed in shadow,

Sneak a view of their emptiness

Without them catching

A glimpse of you in return.

 

The secret is,

Even the empty bed is a burden to them,

A pretense.

They are more themselves keeping

The company of a blank wall,

The company of time and eternity

 

Which, begging your pardon,

Cast no image

As they admire themselves in the mirror,

While you stand to the side

Pulling a hanky out

To wipe your brow surreptitiously.