Another place lamely explains this post better than this post lamely explains itself. Hiatus bluff of a different sort than the normal hiatus bluff - this is not a bleggalgaze - but probably just as empty.
56 (from 100 NOTES ON VIOLENCE)
I am a sick man. I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. I believe my liver is diseased.
Actually, he, Alexander, was innocent. Wasn't he? (Acker)
We know he was made, like all of us, from a moment of sexual intention.
I want a horse, but I am a horse.
Or intrusion. A moment of intrusion.
I am a sick man. A spiteful man.
"Where have you been, sister?" "Killing swine." (Macbeth)
A man and his family are driving to a vacation spot. Once a write, now an insurance broker with two kids in the back, wife beside him, map open on her lap. It's hot. They stop at a gas station so the kids can pee, the wife can buy some gum. Gas up. In the gas station bathroom the man catches another man's face in the mirror. For a moment his heart pounds. Something like desire. But this passes. The man is someone he knew in college. Not possible! It is! And the grin, almost embrace. How are you? What are you doing? Etc. The man walks his friend to the car, introduces him to his wife and kids. The kids take little notice. The wife smiles, but seems impatient. It is decided the man will follow along in his car, will join the family for dinner when they arrive at their destination. During the three-hour's drive, the first man tells his wife all about this friend: antics, parties. Why, she thinks, have I never heard of this man before? As evening falls, they arrive at the hotel - old and worn-down, concrete and carpet - not far from the North Carolina coastline. Dump their bags in the room, kids jump beds, they head down to the restaurant where the friend is waiting for them. He smiles and rises when they ---