Saturday, March 19, 2011

Did You Know Washington DC Has a Professional Soccer Team?

Sweet Lord Etcheverry, it's true! and I've been waiting for tonight since October. In celebration I removed that goddamn Countdown Clock that kept crashing adobe plug-ins and slowed the already slow loading of this shetty bleg. You only think you're sick of the soccer shit here.

I think they'll be better if only because of how bad United was last year - if, and how much, who knows? - but I want to say this: I think they're making one last faithful (business, yes, too) effort to stay in D.C.

Whether making honest moves to acquire better players, trying (we'll see) to improve the stadium experience, running schlocky PR stunts ("D.C. United’s manic quest to have urban hipsters fall in love with them all over again continues on Thursday, with one of the greatest D.C. sports promotions in recent memory"), spending money on advertising, even improving the full-season ticket package reward - last year I got a 5x7 autographed photo of Dejan Jakovic; this year I got a hat (Seat 6: want?), a scarf, a flag, a patch, all 2011 specific - United is trying. That's all I ask in exchange for my rube'$ love. O! primal screams at beautiful goals too.*


Christopher Merrill

   after practice: right foot
to left foot, stepping forward and back, 
   to right foot and left foot,
and left foot up to his thigh, holding 
   it on his thigh as he twists
around in a circle, until it rolls 
   down the inside of his leg,
like a tickle of sweat, not catching 
   and tapping on the soft
side of his foot, and juggling
   once, twice, three times,
hopping on one foot like a jump-roper 
   in the gym, now trapping
and holding the ball in midair, 
   balancing it on the instep
of his weak left foot, stepping forward 
   and forward and back, then
lifting it overhead until it hangs there; 
   and squaring off his body,
he keeps the ball aloft with a nudge 
   of his neck, heading it
from side to side, softer and softer, 
   like a dying refrain,
until the ball, slowing, balances 
   itself on his hairline,
the hot sun and sweat filling his eyes 
   as he jiggles this way
and that, then flicking it up gently, 
   hunching his shoulders
and tilting his head back, he traps it 
   in the hollow of his neck,
and bending at the waist, sees his shadow, 
   his dangling T-shirt, the bent
blades of brown grass in summer heat; 
   and relaxing, the ball slipping
down his back. . .and missing his foot.

   He wheels around, he marches 
over the ball, as if it were a rock
   he stumbled into, and pressing
his left foot against it, he pushes it
   against the inside of his right 
until it pops into the air, is heeled
   over his head--the rainbow!-- 
and settles on his extended thigh before
   rolling over his knee and down 
his shin, so he can juggle it again
   from his left foot to his right foot
--and right foot to left foot to thigh--
   as he wanders, on the last day
of summer, around the empty field.


  1. For yet another week, nothing I want to read in Sunday NYTBR.

    I take it you will not being paying cash monies for the NYT online?

  2. Nope. Didn't last time either.

    wOOt! Just discovered I've been purged off a blegrell! Don't know when it happened, though I'm gonna pretend it was the Kate Bush today that rendered me unworthy!

  3. Half off each bowl of chili if you're sporting 5 o'clock shadow and oversized sunglasses.

    Bah, it's all this goddamn soccer you post. You think the Nature Boy watches this crap?

    Since you guys are playing Columbus, I figured someone somewhere 'round here would be broadcasting the game, but no such luck.

  4. $40 gets you a full-season of many MLS games, including tonight's United/Yellow game. It's a remarkably good deal depending on your damn. They haven't raised the price in three years.

    Not to spend your money, but if you - or anyone does buy - use it in Chrome or IE; it doesn't work (or hasn't worked) in Firefox (which is getting skeevier, it seems to me).

    I got an email from a friend asking why I'd been dropped from Blogger X's blogroll. I didn't know I was *on* Blogger X's blogroll. No biggee - it's (sincerely) funny to be reminded that we are all still in high school.

  5. Seems to me that Firefox is getting skeevier too. I know when I find myself looking for an alternative.

    And I still can't believe that St. Mary's is 100 miles away. I hop in my car and drive down there without much of a thought. Nice place. Nice neighborhood.

    Also. We aren't ALL in high school. *blink*

  6. Heh! I remembered that debate this morning as I typed in the news. We're going down to St Mary's April 4 for Accepted Student Day in which they try to seal the deal. Will set the trip odometer.

    It occurs to me that I took the longer way last time, down 5 from the Beltway rather than 4 through Solomon's Island.

    And you're right - it's only those of us into competitive blegging that are still in high school.

  7. I just listened to The Kick Inside for the first time ever yesterday. Good stuff!

  8. I love love love love love Kate Bush.

    Work from home done now. Heading out to run around Sugarloaf and then STAND! in 232! Best day in weeks.

  9. St Mary's is the end of the earth no matter how far you drive to get there. I drove there a few times a year for years. You get to go through both Hollywood and California, if I remember, so the odometer might be a little misleading. But it's a wonderful place and an excellent (state!) school. It used to have a competitive sailing team, of all things.

    Good luck this evening with your lads. The problem of fandom is expectations refuse to be managed.

  10. Only $40? Not a bad deal at all, though funny about having to go back to using IE, Gates, you wily scamp.

  11. Congrats to Planet! I suspect there'll be more options to come.

    Since ATL doesn't have an MLS team anymore (Silverbacks, anyone?), I'll be tugging for the VW Uniteds (that's the same as Manchester, right? Heh.) this season. Seriously, my favorite soccer team is UNC's women, perhaps THE greatest dynasty in any sport EVER. Look it up. Enjoy your game, pal. I'm lost in March Madness (go Heels), HS baseball, and waiting for the Braves.

  12. That was a truly great LOUDSIDE! night.