Friday, April 22, 2011

United 0, Metros 4

All right then, I need first note that Randal was off by one. Hah! Oh.

Yes, a reality check. (How shitty must Toronto be?) I was reminded of games against the top Mexican clubs back when United was unfortunate enough (according to Kevin Payne) to play meaningful international games and suffer from the must-be-avoided fixture clusterfuck (the one thing Kevin Payne has succeeded amazingly at as GM in recent years), reminded of friendlies against major European sides: Metros were bigger, leaner, faster, are a different and superior class of athlete and soccer player than United's players.

Rather than reiterate what Fullback said in the above link, what Landru says, what Saturday says, what Mania says, what Shatzer says, I want to note this: when United is again capable of competing evenly against a side as talented as Metros, nobody who started last night for United with the possible exception of Korb and Kitchen, who were undressed and exposed as the rookies they are, and the awful last night Hamid will be on the field. Pontius, meh; Davies will be back in Yurp, Jakovic is as good as he'll be which isn't much, Simms has lots of miles, Wolff is old... United is better than last year; hopefully next year they'll be better than this year, and if they make that progression they'll have advanced to middle of the pack. They are at least two years and several athletes away from being dangerous.

This year: Nodax blows. Unbelievable suck. Shockingly suckful. If Benny's half-time benching of Nodax and introduction of Boskovic is a permanent move than good came out of the game. Boskovic is an athlete and soccer player of a higher class (though I can't imagine him being here if and when United gets good again). Fredsux reverted to mean (his excellent game against Toronto being, as Seat Six called it, an outlier); he is an injury fill-in. I'm interested in seeing Boskovic work with Najar (whose stock I'm selling). I'm hoping Benny finds minutes for Ethan White - might as well let him get his rookie spankings too.

This isn't an autopsy, this isn't despair. Metros are loaded: they should compete for Supporters Shield and be favored to win MLS' shitty post-season tournament. This season for United is about next season as next season is about the season after. They are that far away, that's how far they had fallen. It's not a pleasant thing to be reminded, though it's necessary to be reminded.

HEY! United management! Why are my only choices for beer Mexican swill and Corporate American swill? There is one stand I could find that sells Guinness (swill) and Harp (swill) that advertised Bass (better than swill) that I stood in line for fifteen minutes to be told they don't actually sell Bass. I mean, I'll drink swill if I must, but what the fuck is the problem? (The answer being, of course, I'll drink swill if I must.)


  1. Tomorrow's lottery numbers are 17, 27, 28, 31, 44 and 45.

    I missed the first ten minutes, but assuming some alien abduction/soul transference thing hadn't gone on, what you all said. The one thing that struck me more than anything was DC being one step slower on every move of the Soft Drinks.

    The best thing about bottoming out is the inevitable cliché. Which is why I expect the Cavs to whiff on their first round picks.

    That non-red card might have gotten one even in Argentina circa '71. (well, maybe not)

  2. Ouch. But Randall will have to watch the Cavs take a guard from Duke with their pick in the draft. And then wait for 18 months to find out how much he actually sucks. It is better to know right away. And I am really happy for Davies, not that I've seen him play.

  3. Caught a few secs on teh Toobs. All I can say is (after Drip): OUCH.

    What's up with that back line, anyway? Seems like they swarmed fairly well on D, took over the ball, then kicked it right back to the Redbulls at upper mid. I mean dayyum. Unforced turnovers were a plague up and down field. "Here Bull, have at it! I can't find anybody else I want to kick it to." Don't the VW Uniteds (or is it the United VWs?) know how to find space? esp. when three defenders are converging on the ball?

  4. Kitchen and Korb are rookies, Jakovic has talent but is stupid, Burch is talentless *and* stupid. Doesn't help that the keeper is practically a rookie too.

    Hopefully Kitchen will develop into the back-line captain, but the back-line has been broken since The Irreplaceable Man, #26, retired because of too many concussions.

  5. Randal is dangerous. Best to keep on his good side.

  6. Man, Blogger is pissing me off. I just had a comment et again.

    Mainly: you're WAY too harsh on Jakovic. Don't understate the impact of coaching on the shambles that is the defense, and give Jakovic the credit of noting that his errors are mostly not defensive--he turns the ball over after regaining control.