Friday, April 29, 2011

When Folks Scream or Clutch Their Hair and Poke at Us and Glare and Speak of How We Slithered Up from Hell, It Is Themselves They See

Did you know Dan Snider's fight against the embodiment of evil that is Dave McKenna is braver than you think?

Later in the discussion, Wyllie said City Paper writer Dave McKenna had been “evil and mean” toward Snyder, and that “at some point you have to throw your hands in the air and say enough is enough.” Wyllie also compared Snyder to truth-seeking Egyptian protestors.

Holyfuck, I love this, the puny fuck that keeps on giving. Fine metaphors abound.

Hey! Did you know Washington DC has a professional soccer team?

It's true! and tonight they play in Houston where they never win, and if Nodax is starting then Branko Boskovic better be too, so tune in tomorrow when I drive more newer readers away with a post-game wrap-up! O! I might toggle over to noxzema bottle blue for just a day, this blog's original color and my favorite color that a dedicated reader told me gives her headaches, but fuck it, I'm feeling nostalgic, and (lucky for you, sad for me) this phase of manic whatthefuckness is beginning to ebb.


Well, doublefuck me and my awesome god-taunting capabilities:

D.C. United midfielder Branko Boskovic will not play Friday night against the Houston Dynamo at Robertson Stadium (8:30 p.m. ET, Fox Soccer Channel), the club announced. He suffered a knee contusion late in the U.S. Open Cup match Tuesday, and despite an MRI exam showing no damage, he was scratched from the travel roster and will prepare for a pair of league games next week.

To be fair, the two home games in four days next week (sweet!) are far more important than a road game tonight on artificial turf on a narrow field where United never plays well and would probably lose with or without Branko, but fuck.

There is some good news!

Midfielder Kurt Morsink (concussion) is also out, but defender Jed Zayner, sidelined since the season opener with a hamstring injury, and goalkeeper Steve Cronin (wrist) are available.

No Shut the Fuck Up is always good news.


Gabrielle Calvocoressi

It isn't how we look up close
so much as in dreams.

Our giant is not so tall,
our lizard boy merely flaunts

crusty skin- not his fault 
they keep him in a crate

and bathe him maybe once a week.
When folks scream or clutch their hair

and poke at us and glare and speak
of how we slithered up from Hell,

it is themselves they see:
the preacher with the farmer's girls

(his bulging eyes, their chicken legs)
or the mother lurching towards the sink,

a baby quivering in her gnarled 
hands. Horror is the company

you keep when shades are drawn.
Evil does not reside in cages.


  1. ...and that “at some point you have to throw your hands in the air and say enough is enough.”

    You're supposed to throw your hands in the air like you just don't care.

    P.S. The Deadskins managed to not do something stupid yesterday. It might be time to buy a Lotto ticket.

  2. I got a text from a bud who said, "Oh good, they drafted a slow white Christer to be the anti-Haynesworth."

    But yes, trading down instead of taking a QB seems like a good idea.

  3. Snyder's almost as honorable as a Klingon.

    Peyton Hillis would like thank Jesus Christ, but forgot to ask for help with all that pesky fumbling.

    The safe pick was the cake, but the icing was the trotting out of killbots on the stage around #23 to the strains of Lee Greenwood.

  4. It's like someone shot lidocaine into my tongue. Perhaps some bystanding friend could bail me out by saying what needs to be said here. Maybe she'll just happen by.

  5. Geez, who would that be Landru? I don't think I can say what needs to be said. That would be too mean. But ...

    Mr. Doggyread, WTF are you doing on this Little Danny Snyder thingy. I've tried to ignore it, writing it off as a pussyball aficionado who doesn't know better but you just won't stop. Yes, I know the sports bog mentioned him. I know there was an op ed in the Post. But seriously dood, you're missing all of the really important points. Like the part about him whining because the CityPaper is trying to send a short Jewboy to the ovens. And they were mean to his wife.

    If you want to continue this footballtalking, you really must memorize the CityPaper article(s). Also remember that he is a rich crook who has destroyed a franchise to which folks have been loyal for generations. And pissed off the entire nation's capital. And the he gives the players turkeys. Without irony.

    A small warning, though. If you persist I may be forced to begin commenting on your local Professional Soccer Team (PST).

    And while you've dragged me out to comment, I've finally decided that the real problem with you and Mr. Obama is that you have a serious crush on him. Unrequited.