Thursday, June 2, 2011

Only a Dog Who Chews a Ragged Rawhide Chew Toy

While waiting for the graduation procession to begin on Tuesday, SeatSix and this guy were telling me how much this blog sucks, especially trying to read it on a phone the size of half a graham cracker - (use your imaginary whiny voice) the photos are too big, the youtubes take too long to download, the motherfucking blogroll scrolls and scrolls and scrolls, it takes forever for the fucking blog to load, and then there's that whole links won't open in another window piece of blooger shittiness (that was me). (Speaking of blooger shittiness, what the fuck is that +1 box next to a 0 box doing down at the bottom of every post? I didn't put it there.)

I agree completely, it takes too long to load, though know this: the too big photos and youtubes are non-negotiable: they stay, you go. But I've reduced the number of posts per page from ten to four and I've changed Because Left and Because Right blogrolls (which are stocked with new flavors, yo, and suggestions are always solicited) to only show the twenty-five most recently updated blogs. I have not disblogrolled you; you just haven't posted rapidly enough. Sometime, if I get around to it, I might create a sub-Because for those sites that don't feed the updating blogroller. Or not. And until blooger gives me a links open in separate window toggle switch, please right mouse; I'm not fucking with html.

It seems to make some small but good difference loading on my laptop. As always, thank you for the Kind; please nudge me if I'm not reciprocating.

  • Clusterfuck.
  • Perpetual war: The Pentagon, trying to create a formal strategy to deter cyberattacks on the United States, plans to issue a new strategy soon declaring that a computer attack from a foreign nation can be considered an act of war that may result in a military response.
  • The accidental bombings will continue.... Here's what we're doing in Afghanistan: floating the ponzi, for one, you can figure out numbers 2 through X all on your own....
  • Class and common sense.
  • Zombie politics, democracy, authoritarianism.  
  • B-movie.
  • Conspiracies for you and me.
  • Thick as thieves.
  • Oinker.
  • Oinker. Gov. Chris Christie arrived at his son's baseball game this afternoon aboard a State Police helicopter. Right before the lineup cards were being exchanged on the field, a noise from above distracted the spectators as the 55-foot long helicopter buzzed over trees in left field, circled the outfield and landed in an adjacent football field. Christie disembarked from the helicopter and got into a black car with tinted windows that drove him about a 100 yards to the baseball field. During the 5th inning, Christie and First Lady Mary Pat Christie got into the car, rode back to the helicopter and left the game. During a pitching change, play was stopped for a couple of minutes while the helicopter took off.


Tom Sleigh

(Note: a space station generates gravity by revolving one way and then another. When it reverses direction to revolve the other way, there are several moments when gravity is suspended.)

My mother and I and the dog were floating
Weightless in the kitchen. Silverware
Hovered above the table. Napkins drifted
Just below the ceiling. The dead who had been crushed
By gravity were free to move about the room,
To take their place at supper, lift a fork, knife, spoon—
A spoon, knife, fork that, outside this moment's weightlessness,
Would have been immovable as mountains.

My mother and I and the dog were orbiting
In the void that follows after happiness
Of an intimate gesture: Her hand stroking the dog's head
And the dog looking up, expectant, into her eyes:
The beast gaze so direct and alienly concerned
To have its stare returned; the human gaze
That forgets, for a moment, that it sees
What it's seeing and simply, fervently, sees...

But only for a moment. Only for a moment were my mother
And the dog looking at each other not mother
Or dog but that look—I couldn't help but think,
If only I were a dog, or Mother was,
Then that intimate gesture, this happiness passing
Could last forever...such a vain, hopeless wish
I was wishing; I knew it and didn't know it
Just as my mother knew she was my mother

And didn't...and as for the dog, her large black pupils,
Fixed on my mother's faintly smiling face,
Seemed to contain a drop of the void
We were all suspended in; though only a dog
Who chews a ragged rawhide chew toy shaped
Into a bone, femur or cannonbone
Of the heavy body that we no longer labored
To lift against the miles-deep air pressing

Us to our chairs. The dog pricked her ears,
Sensing a dead one approaching. Crossing the kitchen,
My father was moving with the clumsy gestures
Of a man in a space suit—the strangeness of death
Moving among the living—though the world
Was floating with a lightness that made us
Feel we were phantoms: I don't know
If my mother saw him—he didn't look at her

When he too put his hand on the dog's head
And the dog turned its eyes from her stare to his...
And then the moment on its axis reversed,
The kitchen spun us the other way round
And pressed heavy hands down on our shoulders
So that my father sank into the carpet,
My mother rested her chin on her hand
And let her other hand slide off the dog's head,

Her knuckles bent in a kind of torment
Of moonscape erosion, ridging up into
Peaks giving way to seamed plains
With names like The Sea of Tranquility
—Though nothing but a metaphor for how
I saw her hand, her empty, still strong hand
Dangling all alone in the infinite space
Between the carpet and the neon-lit ceiling.


  1. It's just one album and I'm sure Boorman's gonna love "Muskrat Love" every bit as much as I do.

    The site loads way faster for me now.

  2. ...especially trying to read it on a phone the size of half a graham cracker...

    What are these "sell phones" you youngsters go on about? Stay offa my lawn!

    P.S. I went with 3 posts per page, meself, as I'm a big picture kind of guy.

  3. Dude, did *you* look at Irwin's playlist?

  4. Irwin used to do an hour he called "Atrocious Music". It was the best worst music you ever. Some afternoons I laughed til I cried. First place I heard Shatner's classic "Lucy" or "Rocket Man". He would start there and just get wackedier.

  5. He'll always be "Your Old Pal Irwin" to me!

  6. For years I've driven Planet and Earthgirl crazy with my fascination with the Joel Clark/Dan Tullis Selectquote commercial. That Irwin finds it fascinating too (and his remixes, and the ones his listeners have made are genius), plus other things he plays, proves I'm not alone in the universe with my obsessions.

  7. This blog *does* suck. Not enough footie.

    May, unless it's our Chinese overlords.

  8. I said nuffin about my fuckin' phone, there, Richard Nixon. And oh yes you did (+1). It's an artifact of whatever little social media sharing widget you added, you hipster fuck.

    Can you imagine, even briefly, because that's all it takes, what we'd have done with a J Wing?

    Randal +1
    The Wheel +1
    And Jack +1, but mostly because he doesn't need my fucking approval.

  9. Heh, I did see that. Fine metaphors abound.

    Yes, it was SeatSix's phone though - be fair - you *were* telling me this blog sucks.

    And while I'll fully admit I'm an utter whore, I'm also a techtard. I had nothing to do with any of those symbols down there. To put it another way, I clicked the enable legally binding complicity box to get this blog and shazam, there they were. Though my question wasn't why they're there it's what the fuck is it?

    I know I've asked this before - were you with us when we discovered the hidden floor beneath C-Hall?

    My favorite place was that courtyard near the gym, climb the pine tree to the roof to party. We need to do a tour before they tear it down.