Saturday, August 25, 2012

For His Birthday, I Gave Stanley a Hyacinth Bean, an Annual, so He Wouldn't Have to Wait for the Flowers

That's the latest in the Stanley in a Bag series. In response to my speculations/inquiries re: political demographics of Ohio (where day after tomorrow I drive to take Planet back to college), G, good friend of Landru, sent along some Kind and this:

We live in Cincinnati, and I wanted to remark on the demographics of Ohio (in response to Planet being in Ohio all fall).  Despite appearances, Cincinnati proper is pretty blue.  (Take a gander at the 2008 results map here:,_2008The four isolated blue counties in the southern half of the state are those around Cincinnati, Dayton, Columbus, and Athens.  The burbs in those counties and around are undeniably red, and the redrawn districts (done by a Republican legislature) after the 2010 census favors (surprisingly enough) the Republicans.  All of those democratic counties in the southern half of the state are split in half, so that the republican burbs and surrounding counties can overwhelm a divided democratic city.  See the map here: .   Honestly, I don' t know how they keep getting away with this crap.

I'm sure that there are more Democratic voters than Republican--the election will turn on whether the Democrats will actually vote, and how many shenanigans will get in the way of the process.  (I still have bitter memories of 2004, when long lines in understaffed Democratic districts turned people away, while the Republican districts didn't seem to have such problems.  Well, that and the Diebold thing.)

And the followed-up: I used the 2008 map to show that Hamilton is blue; upon further research I've learned it has been red in the previous 3 presidential elections, and in many of the 'tweeners, but it has generally been closely divided between the city and the burbs.  I will always maintain, however, that something was seriously fishy in the 2004 election.  I work in (and drive through, to and from) a very Republican part of the county; US Rep Steve Chabot-R (of the combover fame) lives near where I work. I saw an overwhelming number of Democratic signs in the run-up to the 2004 election, to the extent that I actually and foolishly was convinced that Ohio would turn for Kerry.  I saw much less visible support for Obama in the same neighborhood in 2008, yet the county did come in Democratic that year.  Damn Diebolds

Offered here for my three Ohioan blogbuds. Living in MOCO, I get some of the POTUS noise in commercials run at NOVA, and puke-sound. The blarg in Ohio is gonna suck. Anyway, thank you, G, for the info and Kind words. Hey! Everyone, send me stuff. Here's the flagship of the Stanley in a Bag series:

  • Crackers in bed. Made you look. Thanks Edmond!
  • I was going to throw this 144 exactly twit in the wind: Getting outraged that Romney's outraged that Obama's acting outraged to exploit a Romney gaffe (plug variables in any order) is swirly dumb. Fuck it.
  • Obama's constitution.
  • Panopticon.
  • What the fuck is a Ed Schultz?
  • America will be Britain first on its way to Serbia.
  • The American Conservative on American Conservatism. I've never said they aren't whack.
  • Metaphor for something
  • I've been using headers one out of three or four nights, gonna leave Stanley up there for the meantime just because.
  • Read this out loud. No, really: Poor Americans die five years younger than the rich and are likelier to say that parents should stay together for the sake of the children. Black Americans, unlike white Americans, do not live longer if they marry rather than cohabit. Black women are, unlike white women and black men, expected to be assertive in the workplace; are as likely as white men to be ticketed during traffic stops; and tend toward obesity if they have been abused as children. Sons who have been abused by their fathers and daughters who have been abused by their mothers are especially prone to cancer. Fatherhood reduces gay men’s HIV risk. Children exposed to HIV in the womb are more likely to become deaf. Mother goats remember, for over a year after weaning, the voices of their kids. The death of a child increases a mother’s immediate risk of death by 133 percent. Women who have difficulty conceiving children are more likely to experience psychiatric hospitalization. California scientists disagreed with Danish scientists’ assertion that occasional binge drinking during pregnancy may be safe. Bullies peak in seventh grade. Cities polluted by leaded gasoline turn children violent. Two thirds of U.S. teenagers experience uncontrollable rage. Head injuries, undereducation, and farming make Americans punch and kick in their sleep. Ambient bullying makes employees want to quit. A landscape architect designed an edible playground for autistic children. There are two more paragraphs at the link. Read them out loud too.
  • United plays in Montreal at four today. Don't know if I'll be able to see it - Comcast is showing a motherfucking exhibition helmetball game, I wonder if they'll blackout MLS Live like they normally do.
  • Bob Ross on art and capitalism!
  • Beefheart!


Mark Doty

For his birthday, I gave Stanley a hyacinth bean,
an annual, so he wouldn't have to wait for the flowers.

He said, Mark, I have just the place for it!
as if he'd spent ninety-eight years

anticipating the arrival of this particular vine.

I thought poetry a brace against time,
the hours held up for study in a voice's cool saline,

but his allegiance is not to permanent forms.
His garden's all furious change,

budding and rot and then the coming up again;

why prefer any single part of the round?
I don't know that he'd change a word of it;

I think he could be forever pleased
to participate in motion. Something opens.

He writes it down. Heaven steadies
and concentrates near the lavender. He's already there.


  1. G is also a good friend of Sasha and if he says it you can believe it.

  2. Thanks much for the Beefheart link, that is priceless!

  3. Nice follow up - to an expansion team. Who are you guys, the Browns?

    That map's a joke. Lay a transparent overhead sheet of graph paper on top, and count off by ten. All the ones, all the twos, etc. Then, the next election cycle, The first one, the second two, etc. Wash, rinse, repeat. *That's* my kind of gerrymandering.