Saturday, February 9, 2013

b) we're hypocrites

I've compiled a list of links between three or four snarky sentences regarding the currently raging debate on Liberal hypocrisy over Obama's imperial edicts but fuck that, at least today, the links are everywhere, if you want to read them they're easy to find, and it's not like anyone is going to change his or her mind. Liberal hypocrisy? Here's what's pissing me off today:

That's the view from the back porch of my comfortably upper-middle class Montgomery County Maryland Cape Cod looking upward at the fucking McMansion pop-up being erected in the yard behind my house. Below is our design for what the fuckers will see from their back windows and deck:

So, links return tomorrow, today just songs and a poem. Yes, I posted that Sir Richard Bishop and W. David Oliphant within the past two weeks, the re-posting signifies nothing more than I love it. Have another:


Linh Dinh

Invaders invariably call themselves:

a) berserkers
b) marauders
c) frankincense
d) liberators

Our enemies hate us because:

a) we’re sadists
b) we’re hypocrites
c) we shafted them
d) we value freedom

Our friends hate us because:

a) we’re bullies
b) we hate them
c) we’re hypocrites
d) we value freedom

Pushed to the ground and kicked by a gang of soldiers, about to be shot, you can save your life by brandishing:

a) an uzi
b) a crucifix
c) the Constitution
d) a poem

A poem can:

a) start a war
b) stanch a wound
c) titillate the masses
d) shame a nation

Poets are:

a) clowns
b) parasites
c) legislators
d) terrorists

A nation’s standing in the world is determined by:

a) its buying power
b) its military might
c) its cultural heritage
d) God

A country is rich because of:

a) its enlightened population
b) its political system
c) its small stick
d) its geography

A country is poor because of:

a) its ignorant population
b) its political system
c) its small stick
d) its geography

A man’s dignity is determined by:

a) his appearance (skin color, height, etc)
b) his willingness to use violence
c) his command of English
d) his blue passport

Those willing to die for their beliefs are:

a) idealists
b) terrorists
c) suckers
d) insane

Those willing to die for nothing are:

a) principled
b) patriotic
c) insane
d) cowards


a) abuse language
b) hit and run
c) shock and awe
d) rely on ingenuity

Smart weapons:

a) render hopeless and dormant kinetic objects
b) kill softly
c) save lives
d) slaughter by science

Pain is:

a) payback for evil-doers
b) a common misfortune
c) compelling drama
d) suck it up!

Humiliation is:

a) the ultimate thrill for bored perverts
b) inevitable in an unequal relationship
c) a fear factor
d) sexy and cathartic

The media’s job is:

a) to seduce
b) to spread
c) to sell
d) to drug

The Internet:

a) allows us to be pure minds
b) connects us to distant bodies
c) disconnects us from the nearest minds and bodies
d) improves illiteracy

Pornography is:

a) a lie that exposes the truth
b) a needed breather from civilization
c) class warfare
d) nostalgia for the garden of Eden

Correct answers: c,d,d,b,b,a,b,a,a,c,b,b,b,c,b,d,b,d,c.
—If you scored 14-19, you’re a well adjusted person, a home-owner, with and income of at least $50,000 a year.
—If you scored 8-13, you either rent or live with your parents, never exercise, and consume at least a 6-pack a day.
—if you scored 7 or less, you’re in trouble with the FBI and/or the IRS, cut your own hair, and use public transit as your primary mode of transportation.


  1. Your domicile needs to become pop-up. Open the front door, and a large mooing cow appears. Open the garage, and a giant Pee Wee Herman complete with sound razzes your McNeighbor. Work, but so worth it.

  2. In keeping with the upper middle class nature of your neighborhood I would have thought you'd at least use Times Roman. Certainly something with a serif.

  3. When I was a young boy in Massachusetts, there were only 2 people in my neighborhood that planned on voting for Nixon in 1972. One of them was my elderly grandmother who thought "What's My Line?" was the height of TV entertainment. The other person was a man 5 houses down. He got tired of all the ribbing from friends and neighbors, so he painted "Nixon 1972" in huge letters on the side of his house.

    When I was a young cook out in Colorado, I worked in a family owned restaurant. The woman who owned it got quite angry when the city council voted for some sort of local sales tax. The restaurant was on the city's main drag, and so she painted a huge mural on the side wall, one elephant fucking another elephant, with the elephant getting fucked labeled "taxpayers", and the elephant doing the fucking labeled "city council". Those elephants were about 20 feet tall.

  4. I took a picture of house going up in the neighborhood, too.

    It's not a McMansion, though. (I don't think.)

    P.S. Or maybe it is?

  5. I would express a genuine wish that Nemo would come down and destroy this McMansion project going on in front of you, but then the necessary power of its effect would also dampen you'll livelihood as well.

    I'm sure you'll find a way to do a better job at that than mother nature could.