Saturday, March 2, 2013

The Clerk on Crutches Who Pauses Before His Building to Watch the Mechanic Lose Three Dollars at Blackjack

There's Big-C, former colleague, current friend and DCUer, admitting on Jeopardy last night that he was a bed-wetter. I hope to hear how he came to the decision (or was urged to the decision) to discuss his bed-wetting versus other awkward interview subjects a week from tonight at United's home opener. He came in second, losing by $3. He fell below zero early in Double Jeopardy and rallied to take the lead, got the last question in the round which was a Daily Double, he fucked up, bet more than would have assured him the lead going into Final Jeopardy, missed the Daily Double, and when both he and the returning champion answered a ridiculously easy Final Jeopardy question, three bucks short. Still, more than $20K before taxes.

UPDATE! Big-C writes: The most frequent question I've been asked -- not surprisingly -- has to do with my conversation with Mr. Trebek. When I was called to be on the show, I was sent a lengthy questionnaire/release form, and I gave them 9 or 10 general 'topics of conversation' or specific stories...if you're a repeat champion they've got to have lots of material for Alex to use. When I got to the studio for my taping, they had whittled those stories down to three -- my first date with Anna, a parasailing mishap in Mexico, and "The Bedwetter". A writer sat down with me to talk over the story lines, and he quickly discarded the first date story ("bor-ing!"). The parasailing story had some potential, but he thought the bedwetting story had some potential for long as I was OK with talking about it to 9 million people. I'm a team player AND a fan of off-color, self deprecating anecdotes, and the rest is Jeopardy history. (BTW, I no longer wet the bed, in case you were wondering...the Wee-Alert 2000 worked like a charm!)



Nicholas Christopher

The searchlight of a February moon
at the end of the street

bare trees black railing
an eastern star set like a pearl atop a steeple

that shadows the doorway
where the one-armed card shark squats

shuffling his deck on a milk crate
waiting for the No. 6 bus to discharge

the off-duty cop the seamstress
the drunken mechanic and the clerk on crutches

who pauses before his building to watch
the mechanic lose three dollars at blackjack

and then stiffly ascends the five flights
to his two rooms on a shaftway

hanging his coat on a hook
and sitting down at the table

on which this morning he placed
a soup bowl and spoon

a tin of crackers and the crossword
puzzle he had been laboring over

beneath the gaze of his late wife
her color photograph propped up in a small frame

a young woman in a boxy dress and felt cap
waving shyly by the edge of a lake

where over her shoulder beneath a clear sky
a sailboat rides the wind

passengers on the polished deck
gazing at the glowing mountain peaks

the cypresses lining the shore
and the pink palazzi with ancient gardens

these men and women in white
who seem to live upon the water

gliding among themselves oblivious to strife
and all else that wears a body down

some sipping from crystal goblets
others just drinking in the light


  1. Wow! Moon's cover of Mouse's 'Equation' has to be one of my top 5, not just covers but songs. Love the original, but, to me, the cover shines. That mournful voice, those lyrics, that melody, and then there's the coda.

    Great playlist.

  2. I did the D.C. to Columbus thing.

    Some snow, a bad accident (not by moi). But there you go.

  3. i'm feeling kind of warm , i wish there was some snow here to roll in .. .