Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Doubt Both but Need Try
This is just to say (I have eaten the plums that were in the icebox and which you were probably saving for breakfast Forgive me they were delicious so sweet and so cold) I release myself from my enthusiastically self-imposed Egoslavian obligations, rules, and laws I have masochistically laced myself into over the past eleven years. That sentence's William Carlos Williams' poem demonstrates my probable inability to employ the release, as does the Morton Feldman, as does this post. Regular programming cannot return if it never goes away.
This is not a bleggacide's farewell nor a hiatus bluff, but the past few months, and intensifying over the past few weeks, this hasn't been fun like it used to be fun. I would be lying if I said I didn't pay attention to who and how many read, but this iteration of the blog has, as I type this, 1858 posts, 7349 comments, and 724,020 page views over just over four years: the numbers are fine. The Kind is good. The not-fun isn't you or lack of yous. My head has been, is, and will always be loud, but Dark and Angry are starting to dominate: I've always used here to indulge them, but they are seeping into real life and I will not indulge them there. Perhaps not indulging them here will help squelch Dark and Angry there, perhaps not indulging them here will help here too. I doubt both but need try.