Tuesday, October 15, 2019

I Had the Happy Idea to Call Myself Happy


Mary Szybist

I had the happy idea to suspend some blue globes in the air

and watch them pop.

I had the happy idea to put my little copper horse on the shelf so we could stare at each other
all evening.

I had the happy idea to create a void in myself.

Then to call it natural.

Then to call it supernatural.

I had the happy idea to wrap a blue scarf around my head and spin.

I had the happy idea that somewhere a child was being born who was nothing like Helen or
Jesus except in the sense of changing everything.

I had the happy idea that someday I would find both pleasure and punishment, that I would
know them and feel them,

and that, until I did, it would be almost as good to pretend.

I had the happy idea to call myself happy.

I had the happy idea that the dog digging a hole in the yard in the twilight had his nose deep in

I had the happy idea that what I do not understand is more real than what I do,

and then the happier idea to buckle myself

into two blue velvet shoes.

I had the happy idea to polish the reflecting glass and say

hello to my own blue soul. Hello, blue soul. Hello.

It was my happiest idea.


  1. i listened to clock dva and read the wikipedia article about them and was glad i did

    and speaking of old music i just learned that somebody i knew from a while ago when he lived in nyc - a friend of a friend - the intervening friend and i knew each other in buffalo - now lives in this area and has a music,etc. show on the takoma park low power radio station - danny griffin, walking on the moon, weds 8-10 pm - rather less esoteric and avant-garde than your tastes, i guess, to judge from last week's playlist - i don't know if you'd enjoy it


  2. Feel compelled to say I A) went to school with Bob Mould B) was friends with Paul, from Clock DVA, here in Berlin for several years (very memorable night of watching GUMMO on DVD with him... in fact I mention him in a post...it was Paul's GF Claudia I did a sketch of here (bottom of post): https://berlin8berlin.wordpress.com/2019/07/11/why-your-three-year-old-could-have-done-that-my-life-thus-far-in-art/