Saturday, January 11, 2020

I'd Like to Have a Silver Hat Please

  • A colleague gave birth earlier this week and the baby died hours later and the news broke my fugue, sounds horrible, is true
  • Earthgirl knit a hat in non-gendered colors, bright red with orange ears, for Colleague's new baby since my Colleague and spouse chose (as should you) not to know, two nights ago I texted a photo of the hat to my Colleague not knowing the baby had already died
  • She texted back condolences for my new urns but did not mention her born child that died
  • Also true: Earthgirl knit a hat for Richard and Aimee's child, the hat orange with bright red ears, years ago
  • Richard sent photo of baby in orange hat at angle that obscured the red ears
  • Earthgirl, shown photo, like, where are the red ears
  • Richard, friend and good guy, sent funny barb back (more than once), photo proving he had not in fact de-eared the hat Earthgirl knit for his child
  • I sent photo of hat Earthgirl knit for Colleague's baby to Colleague, hat rolled up and set on a PC left speaker like the hats my Colleague wears and also too what me and Colleague talk about other than work, music
  • Colleague thanked me and asked me to thank Earthgirl after Colleague's just born child had died but I didn't know, I showed photo and thank you to Earthgirl, why did I roll the hat up, she asked
  • Anyway
  • Richard emailed me last night out of the blue, first time in months, a year
  • Serendipity
  • holyfuck
  • broke my fugue




Frank O'Hara

Now when I walk around at lunchtime
I have only two charms in my pocket
an old Roman coin Mike Kanemitsu gave me
and a bolt-head that broke off a packing case
when I was in Madrid the others never
brought me too much luck though they did
help keep me in New York against coercion
but now I'm happy for a time and interested
I walk through the luminous humidity
passing the House of Seagram with its wet
and its loungers and the construction to
the left that closed the sidewalk if
I ever get to be a construction worker
I'd like to have a silver hat please
and get to Moriarty's where I wait for
LeRoi and hear who wants to be a mover and
shaker the last five years my batting average
is .016 that's that, and LeRoi comes in
and tells me Miles Davis was clubbed 12
times last night outside birdland by a cop
a lady asks us for a nickel for a terrible
disease but we don't give her one we
don't like terrible diseases, then
we go eat some fish and some ale it's
cool but crowded we don't like Lionel Trilling
we decide, we like Don Allen we don't like
Henry James so much we like Herman Melville
we don't want to be in the poets' walk in
San Francisco even we just want to be rich
and walk on girders in our silver hats
I wonder if one person out of the 8,000,000 is
thinking of me as I shake hands with LeRoi
and buy a strap for my wristwatch and go
back to work happy at the thought possibly so

1 comment:

  1. You're a mensch. Would that I could lend comfort to your colleague.