Thursday, October 27, 2011

For He Will Not Do Destruction If He Is Well-Fed, Neither Will He Spit without Provocation

I read p2 of Goff's post-season interview with Kevin Payne - the part where Payne says what he always says when asked the same questions about United's future:

“It’s a struggle for us here at RFK. We have the highest expenses and lowest revenue.”

“We’re talking to EventsDC [which manages the stadium]. We’ve always had a good relationship with them. I think they recognize our situation. We’re hopeful we can reach an agreement that makes more sense and allows us to remain here. It’s about the amount we pay and the amount we make here. Compared to the average team in our league, the combination of expenses and revenue, we’re about $2.85 million worse per year: about $1 million more in expenses than the average MLS team and about $1.85 million less in revenue. It’s a lot of money.”

“We’re not hiding anything. We are trying to work through some issues with the District and we are having conversations about how to get something in the District, but we’re having those same conversations with Baltimore. I’m not sure I want to categorize it, but the state of Maryland, Maryland Stadium Authority and city of Baltimore know how to do this. They’ve done it successfully. They have a process. It’s a pretty straight-forward process.”

“I don’t think (United owner Will Chang) is very happy about what this is costing him. When I say things like ‘the current deal at RFK is unsustainable as a business,’ at the end of the business is a person who is writing big checks. There is a point at which he’s not going to write those checks.”

Fuck-me-jig, there will never be a stadium in DC, so why is Steve Goff, after Kevin Payne's annual double-whack at the District government, subsequently speculating about Byrd Stadium as a temporary home while a new stadium is built?

  • Oh. It's also a sign that these are the strangest days of my life that, while I still love United and will attend every home game I'm able until forever (even after they move LOUD SIDE! to an endzone if they ever got a new stadium, which they won't), I'm beginning to imagine life without United, and the prospect doesn't strike me with existential angst like it once did.
  • The imperial boardroom strikes back.
  • Occupy first, demand later! says this generation's greatest academic fraud (I say this admiringly). 
  • (More shooting Zizek.)
  • Four questions.
  • Occupy as primarying Obama?
  • Against American-style authoritarianism.
  • Oakland.
  • Beta-testing?
  • How much connection?
  • Strange bedfellows?
  • Meet the .01%.
  • Police terror. Please remember it is always going to be cheaper for Corporate to buy hungry crackers at subsistence wages and give them a badge and tell them to beat up fucking hippies than retrain hungry crackers to build nothing that can't be built without them.
  • Beyond Wall Street
  • Tricky journalism.
  • Heh.
  • Three questions regarding my complicity: (1) Google reader is going away? (2) Are people Kindly moving my feed from google reader to whatever the fucking Borg demand the reason for the freakish cascades of pings the past three days? (3) If I want the feeds I get via reader, what do I have to do?
  • Pigfight!
  • Know what. I'm gonna see how long I can hold my blogbreath starting now, see if I can make it until Monday before posting again (comments here or elsewhere don't count), meaning place your predictions in comments (I don't think I can go until Monday either, I predict 7:54 Friday morning), you can buy me a pint or me you somewhere near McPherson Square this weekend, I'll be the guy in the black United baseball hat, shake my hand, say hi. 


Christopher Smart

For I will consider my Cat Jeoffry.
For he is the servant of the Living God, duly and daily serving him.
For at the first glance of the glory of God in the East he worships in his way.
For is this done by wreathing his body seven times round with elegant quickness.
For then he leaps up to catch the musk, which is the blessing of God upon his prayer.
For he rolls upon prank to work it in.
For having done duty and received blessing he begins to consider himself.
For this he performs in ten degrees.
For first he looks upon his forepaws to see if they are clean.
For secondly he kicks up behind to clear away there.
For thirdly he works it upon stretch with the forepaws extended.
For fourthly he sharpens his paws by wood.
For fifthly he washes himself.
For sixthly he rolls upon wash.
For seventhly he fleas himself, that he may not be interrupted upon the beat.
For eighthly he rubs himself against a post.
For ninthly he looks up for his instructions.
For tenthly he goes in quest of food.
For having considered God and himself he will consider his neighbor.
For if he meets another cat he will kiss her in kindness.
For when he takes his prey he plays with it to give it a chance.
For one mouse in seven escapes by his dallying.
For when his day's work is done his business more properly begins.
For he keeps the Lord's watch in the night against the adversary. 
For he counteracts the powers of darkness by his electrical skin and glaring eyes.
For he counteracts the Devil, who is death, by brisking about the life.
For in his morning orisons he loves the sun and the sun loves him.
For he is of the tribe of Tiger.
For the Cherub Cat is a term of the Angel Tiger.
For he has the subtlety and hissing of a serpent, which in goodness he suppresses.
For he will not do destruction if he is well-fed, neither will he spit without provocation.
For he purrs in thankfulness when God tells him he's a good Cat.
For he is an instrument for the children to learn benevolence upon.
For every house is incomplete without him, and a blessing is lacking in the spirit.
For the Lord commanded Moses concerning the cats at the departure of the Children of Israel 
            from Egypt.
For every family had one cat at least in the bag.
For the English Cats are the best in Europe.
For he is the cleanest in the use of his forepaws of any quadruped.
For the dexterity of his defense is an instance of the love of God to him exceedingly.
For he is the quickest to his mark of any creature.
For he is tenacious of his point.
For he is a mixture of gravity and waggery.
For he knows that God is his Saviour.
For there is nothing sweeter than his peace when at rest. 
For there is nothing brisker than his life when in motion. 
For he is of the Lord's poor, and so indeed is he called by benevolence perpetually--Poor Jeoffry!
            poor Jeoffry! the rat has bit thy throat.
For I bless the name of the Lord Jesus that Jeoffry is better. 
For the divine spirit comes about his body to sustain it in complete cat.
For his tongue is exceeding pure so that it has in purity what it wants in music.
For he is docile and can learn certain things.
For he can sit up with gravity, which is patience upon approbation.
For he can fetch and carry, which is patience in employment.
For he can jump over a stick, which is patience upon proof positive.
For he can spraggle upon waggle at the word of command.
For he can jump from an eminence into his master's bosom.
For he can catch the cork and toss it again.
For he is hated by the hypocrite and miser.
For the former is afraid of detection. 
For the latter refuses the charge.
For he camels his back to bear the first notion of business.
For he is good to think on, if a man would express himself neatly.
For he made a great figure in Egypt for his signal services.
For he killed the Icneumon rat, very pernicious by land.
For his ears are so acute that they sting again.
For from this proceeds the passing quickness of his attention.
For by stroking of him I have found out electricity.
For I perceived God's light about him both wax and fire.
For the electrical fire is the spiritual substance which God sends from heaven to sustain the 
            bodies both of man and beast.
For God has blessed him in the variety of his movements.
For, though he cannot fly, he is an excellent clamberer.
For his motions upon the face of the earth are more than any other quadruped.
For he can tread to all the measures upon the music.
For he can swim for life.
For he can creep.


  1. *snort*

    Wednesday. And I hate myself for being an enabler.

    Also: seriously? Protesting about a free Internet app? Get lives, dipshits.

  2. Closest without going over, 7:55 am Friday. I hope I win the new car.

  3. Re: pigfight:

    Jennifer comes to The Post from Commentary Magazine where, as contributing editor and chief blogger, provocative writing has become "must read" material for news and policy makers and avid political watchers. Her work has also appeared in the Weekly Standard, Politico, the New York Post, the New York Daily News, the National Review, the Jerusalem Post and numerous other print and online publications. Before her career in journalism, Jennifer was a labor and employment lawyer in Los Angeles for 20 years.

    -Fred Hiatt


  4. While your getting around to getting your butt to K street you can watch from here.

  5. Wait a minute. I don't even know what day it is.

    Yes, Friday. And screw you, Graves. 7:56 AM. Though that makes my enablingness feel less shower-worthy.

    BFF: I suggest "Look At My Navel" for your sign.

  6. Alternatively: "Sasha Is A Dystopian Robot." That ought to give the what's-their-message freaks something to think about. Especially since you won't have a corresponding sign for Malia.

  7. In such situations I usually distinguish myself as "Sashaundercover."