Theme Song August 2019

           

• When the worse thing that can happen to her is a good day
• Nothing we make is not alive
• Other place
• Arboretum
• Metabolic poetics
• New Spahr tag, I won't go back and relabel all the previous, use the search thingee top left of blog, but going forward....
• Why Ecopoetry
• Lightening at the North Pole
• I can't push back against dark with light, I've only
• Day One of ?:

GENTLE NOW, DON'T ADD TO THE HEARTACHE

Juliana Spahr

I. We come into the world. We come into the world and there it is. The sun is there. The brown of the river leading to the blue and the brown of the            ocean is there. Salmon and eels are there moving between the brown and the brown            and the blue. The green of the land is there. Elders and youngers are there. Fighting and possibility and love are there. And we begin to breathe. We come into the world and there it is. We come into the world without and we breathe it in. We come into the world. We come into the world and we too begin to move between the            brown and the blue and the green of it. II. We came into the world at the edge of a stream. The stream had no name but it began from a spring and flowed            down a hill into the Scioto that then flowed into the Ohio that            then flowed into the Mississippi that then flowed into the Gulf            of Mexico. The stream was a part of us and we were a part of the stream and            we were thus part of the rivers and thus part of the gulfs and            the oceans. And we began to learn the stream. We looked under stones for the caddisfly larvae and its adhesive. We counted the creek chub and we counted the slenderhead darter. We learned to recognize the large, upright, dense, candle-like            clusters of yellowish flowers at the branch ends of the            horsechestnut and we appreciated the feathery gracefulness            of the drooping, but upturning, branchlets of the larch. We mimicked the catlike meow, the soft quirrt or kwut, and the            louder, grating ratchet calls of the gray catbird. We put our heads together. We put our heads together with all these things, with the caddisfly            larva, with the creek chub and the slenderhead darter, with            the horsechestnut and the larch, with the gray catbird. We put our heads together on a narrow pillow, on a stone, on a            narrow stone pillow, and we talked to each other all day long            because we loved. We loved the stream. And we were of the stream. And we couldn’t help this love because we arrived at the bank of the            stream and began breathing and the stream was various and            full of information and it changed our bodies with its rotten            with its cold with its clean with its mucky with fallen leaves            with its things that bite the edges of the skin with its leaves            with its sand and dirt with its pungent at moments with its            dry and prickly with its warmth with its mushy and moist            with its hard flat stones on the bottom with its horizon lines            of gently rolling hills with its darkness with its dappled light            with its cicadas buzz with its trills of birds. III. This is where we learned love and where we learned depth and where            we learned layers and where we learned connections between            layers. We learned and we loved the black sandshell, the ash, the american            bittern, the harelip sucker, the yellow bullhead, the beech,            the great blue heron, the dobsonfly larva, the water penny            larva, the birch, the redhead, the white catspaw, the elephant            ear, the buckeye, the king eider, the river darter, the sauger,            the burning bush, the common merganser, the limpet, the            mayfly nymph, the cedar, the turkey vulture, the spectacle            case, the flat floater, the cherry, the red tailed hawk, the            longnose gar, the brook trout, the chestnut, the killdeer,            the river snail, the giant floater, the chokeberry, gray catbird,            the rabbitsfoot, the slenderhead darter, the crabapple, the            american robin, the creek chub, the stonefly nympth,            the dogwood, the warbling vireo, the sow bug, the elktoe,            the elm, the marsh wren, the monkeyface, the central            mudminnow, the fir, the gray-cheeked thrush, the white bass,            the predaceous diving beetle, the hawthorn, the scud, the            salamander mussel, the hazelnut, the warbler, the mapleleaf,            the american eel, the hemlock, the speckled chub, the whirligig            beetle larva, the hickory, the sparrow, the caddisfly larva,            the fluted shell, the horse chestnut, the wartyback, the white            heelsplitter, the larch, the pine grosbeak, the brook stickleback,            the river redhorse, the locust, the ebonyshelf, the giant water            bug, the maple, the eastern phoebe, the white sucker, the creek            heelsplitter, the mulberry, the crane fly larva, the mountain            madtom, the oak, the bank swallow, the wabash pigtoe, the            damselfly larva, the pine, the stonecat, the kidneyshell,            the plum, the midge larva, the eastern sand darter, the rose,            the purple wartyback, the narrow-winged damselfly, the            spruce, the pirate perch, the threehorn wartyback, the sumac,            the black fly larva, the redside dace, the tree-of-heaven, the            orange-foot pimpleback, the dragonfly larva, the walnut,            the gold fish, the butterfly, the striped fly larva, the willow,            the freshwater drum, the ohio pigtoe, the warmouth, the            mayfly nymph, the clubshell. And this was just the beginning of the list. Our hearts took on many things. Our hearts took on new shapes, new shapes every day as we went            to the stream every day. Our hearts took on the shape of well-defined riffles and pools, clean            substrates, woody debris, meandering channels, floodplains,            and mature streamside forests. Our hearts took on the shape of the stream and became riffled and            calmed and muddy and clean and flooded and shrunken dry. Our hearts took on the shape of whirligigs swirling across the water. We shaped our hearts into the sycamore trees along the side of the            stream and we let into our hearts the long pendulous            polygamous racemes of its small green flowers, the            first-formed male flowers with no pistil and then the later            arriving hairy ovary with its two curved stigmas. We let ourselves love the one day of the adult life of the mayfly as            it swarms, mates in flight, and dies all without eating. And we shaped our hearts into the water willow and into the eggs            spawned in the water willow. Our hearts took on the brilliant blues, reds, and oranges of breeding            male rainbow darter and our hearts swam to the female            rainbow darter and we poked her side with our snout as she            buried herself under the gravel and we laid upon her as she            vibrated. We let leaves and algae into our hearts and then we let the mollusks            and the insects and we let the midge larvae into our heart            and then the stonefly nymph and then a minnow came into            our heart and with it a bass and then we let the blue heron fly            in, the raccoon amble by, the snapping turtle and the            watersnake also. We immersed ourselves in the shallow stream. We lied down on the            rocks on our narrow pillow stone and let the water pass over us            and our heart was bathed in glochida and other things that            attach to the flesh. And as we did this we sang. We sang gentle now. Gentle now clubshell, don’t add to heartache. Gentle now warmouth, mayfly nymph, don’t add to heartache. Gentle now willow, freshwater drum, ohio pigtoe, don’t add to heartache. Gentle now walnut, gold fish, butterfly, striped fly larva, don’t add to heartache. Gentle now black fly larva, redside dace, tree-of-heaven, orange-foot            pimpleback, dragonfly larva, don’t add to heartache. Gentle now purple wartyback, narrow-winged damselfly, spruce,            pirate perch, threehorn wartyback, sumac, don’t add to heartache. Gentle now pine, stonecat, kidneyshell, plum, midge larva, eastern            sand darter, rose, don’t add to heartache. Gentle now creek heelsplitter, mulberry, crane fly larva, mountain            madtom, oak, bank swallow, wabash pigtoe, damselfly larva, don’t add to heartache. Gentle now pine grosbeak, brook stickleback, river redhorse, locust,            ebonyshelf, giant water bug, maple, eastern phoebe, white            sucker, don’t add to heartache. Gentle now whirligig beetle larva, hickory, sparrow, caddisfly larva,            fluted shell, horse chestnut, wartyback, white heelsplitter,            larch, don’t add to heartache. Gentle now white bass, predaceous diving beetle, hawthorn, scud,            salamander mussel, hazelnut, warbler, mapleleaf, american            eel, hemlock, speckled chub, don’t add to heartache. Gentle now stonefly nympth, dogwood, warbling vireo, sow bug,            elktoe, elm, marsh wren, monkeyface, central mudminnow, fir,            gray-cheeked thrush, don’t add to heartache. Gentle now longnose gar, brook trout, chestnut, killdeer, river snail,            giant floater, chokeberry, gray catbird, rabbitsfoot,            slenderhead darter, crabapple, american robin, creek chub, don’t add to heartache. Gentle now king eider, river darter, sauger, burning bush, common            merganser, limpet, mayfly nymph, cedar, turkey vulture,            spectacle case, flat floater, cherry, red tailed hawk, don’t add to heartache. Gentle now black sandshell, ash, american bittern, harelip sucker,            yellow bullhead, beech, great blue heron, dobsonfly larva,            water penny larva, birch, redhead, white catspaw, elephant            ear, buckeye, don’t add to heartache. Gentle now, we sang, Circle our heart in rapture, in love-ache. Circle our heart. IV.    It was not all long lines of connection and utopia. It was a brackish stream and it went through the field beside our            house. But we let into our hearts the brackish parts of it also. Some of it knowingly. We let in soda cans and we let in cigarette butts and we let in pink            tampon applicators and we let in six pack of beer connectors            and we let in various other pieces of plastic that would travel            through the stream. And some of it unknowingly. We let the runoff from agriculture, surface mines, forestry, home            wastewater treatment systems, construction sites, urban yards,            and roadways into our hearts. We let chloride, magnesium, sulfate, manganese, iron, nitrite/nitrate,            aluminum, suspended solids, zinc, phosphorus, fertilizers,            animal wastes, oil, grease, dioxins, heavy metals and lead go            through our skin and into our tissues. We were born at the beginning of these things, at the time of            chemicals combining, at the time of stream run off. These things were a part of us and would become more a part of us            but we did not know it yet. Still we noticed enough to sing a lament. To sing in lament for whoever lost her elephant ear lost her mountain            madtom and whoever lost her butterfly lost her harelip sucker and whoever lost her white catspaw lost her rabbitsfoot and whoever lost her monkeyface lost her speckled chub and whoever lost her wartyback lost her ebonyshell and whoever lost her pirate perch lost her ohio pigtoe lost her            clubshell. V. What I did not know as I sang the lament of what was becoming lost            and what was already lost was how this loss would happen. I did not know that I would turn from the stream to each other. I did not know I would turn to each other. That I would turn to each other to admire the softness of each other’s            breast, the folds of each other’s elbows, the brightness of each            other’s eyes, the smoothness of each other’s hair, the evenness            of each other’s teeth, the firm blush of each other’s lips, the            firm softness of each other’s breasts, the fuzz of each other’s            down, the rich, ripe pungency of each other’s smell, all of it,            each other’s cheeks, legs, neck, roof of mouth, webbing            between the fingers, tips of nails and also cuticles, hair on toes,            whorls on fingers, skin discolorations. I turned to each other. Ensnared, bewildered, I turned to each other and from the stream. I turned to each other and I began to work for the chemical factory            and I began to work for the paper mill and I began to work for            the atomic waste disposal plant and I began to work at keeping            men in jail. I turned to each other. I didn’t even say goodbye elephant ear, mountain madtorn, butterfly,            harelip sucker, white catspaw, rabbitsfoot, monkeyface,            speckled chub, wartyback, ebonyshell, pirate perch, ohio            pigtoe, clubshell. I replaced what I knew of the stream with Lifestream Total            Cholesterol Test Packets, with Snuggle Emerald Stream Fabric            Softener Dryer Sheets, with Tisserand Aromatherapy Aroma-            Stream Cartridges, with Filter Stream Dust Tamer, and            Streamzap PC Remote Control, Acid Stream Launcher, and            Viral Data Stream. I didn’t even say goodbye elephant ear, mountain madtorn, butterfly,            harelip sucker, white catspaw, rabbitsfoot, monkeyface,            speckled chub, wartyback, ebonyshell, pirate perch, ohio            pigtoe, clubshell. I put a Streamline Tilt Mirror in my shower and I kept a crystal            Serenity Sphere with a Winter Stream view on my dresser. I didn’t even say goodbye elephant ear, mountain madtorn, butterfly,            harelip sucker, white catspaw, rabbitsfoot, monkeyface,            speckled chub, wartyback, ebonyshell, pirate perch, ohio            pigtoe, clubshell. I bought a Gulf Stream Blue Polyester Boat Cover for my 14-16 Foot            V-Hull Fishing boats with beam widths up to sixty-eight feet            and I talked about value stream management with men in            suits over a desk. I didn’t even say goodbye elephant ear, mountain madtorn, butterfly,            harelip sucker, white catspaw, rabbitsfoot, monkeyface,            speckled chub, wartyback, ebonyshell, pirate perch, ohio            pigtoe, clubshell. I just turned to each other and the body parts of the other suddenly            glowed with the beauty and detail that I had found in the            stream. I put my head together on a narrow pillow and talked with each            other all night long. And I did not sing. I did not sing otototoi; dark, all merged together, oi. I did not sing groaning wounds. I did not sing otototoi; dark, all merged together, oi. I did not sing groaning wounds. I did not sing o wo, wo, wo! I did not sing I see, I see. I did not sing wo, wo!