Friday, January 21, 2022

You Are Made of What Drugs Are Made Of

Once upon a time every post had a Fleabus photo
Bumping this over there again
Putting a chrome sheet into wordpress is roulette though the more I monkey with the format on sheets the chances I get lucky in wordpress, one of the daft reasons I still pay for a wordpress account nobody reads
The system that drives our world
The alibababot in Frankfurt has apprised my potential worth and/or my potential danger and has deemed me not worth monitoring, I am simultaneously relieved and insulted
The pandemic and our broken social contract
by shitlord desire and design
I did use L instead of Earthgirl in the last post and I may use C instead of Planet going forward (working on a poem about why (and related shit)) but I can't use I for my son-in-law
I can hardly I him I I should have said
Mass formation deflation
Five new additions to the blegroll, check them out
I vouch for six of ten of these albums
I mean, it even *looks* like wordle
Reading anxiety, everybody's got it
Callahan and Oldham interview on their wonderful new album
One exhibition in a side-room of the Grand Museum
Been overdosing on Akron/Family, how the ruck had I never posted one of their songs before?


Anne Waldman

Perhaps I’m kidding myself about
the life I lead

Sometimes I feel I’m dying
like a lot of things I see around me

Then I turn on the TV and understand
that everything must still be moving

Music, for example, and I rush outside
around the corner to a concert

It’s so easy

Everything accessible from where I
happen to live at the moment

Things like rock concerts not too many trees on 2nd Avenue

Once, on the Sixth Avenue bus
I got a sudden sensation
I had been alive before

That I was a man at some other time

You would think this strange if you were a woman

If I were a man right now I’d be getting out of the draft
but I think I’d want to be a poet too

Which simply means alive, awake and digging everything

Even that which makes me sick and want to die

I don’t really, you know

I just don’t want to be conscious sometimes
because when you’re conscious in the ordinary way
you have to think about yourself a lot

Dull thoughts like what am I doing?

Uptown in a large crowd I want to sit down and cry
because everything is simple and complicated
all at once

Everyone has this feeling

Even people downtown

It is very basic to the way we are
which is why I can say “we”

A lot of drugs can change you if you want
because you too are made of what drugs are made of

In fact you are just a bundle of drugs
when you come right down to it

I don’t want to go into it
but you’ll see what I mean when you catch on

That’s not meant to sound snotty
I’m open to whatever comes along

This is the feeling I get before I take a plane

Then everything’s the same afterward anyway

All into one space and here I am again
alive still, same worries on my mind

The thing is don’t worry!
You are doing what you have to what you can

You hear from your friends
They let you know what’s happening in California, Iowa
Vermont and other places about the globe

They take you out of your little room
just like the newspapers or the news
or the man you live with

and put you in a much larger room
one in which you are in constant motion around the clock

1 comment:

  1. 1/that's a good looking cat photo

    2/speaking of the social contract and its erosion reminds me of one thing that appeals to me about my fantasy of one day residing in the ancestral province - the leading local politicians post gracious appreciations and best wishes on the twitter about the leaders of the rival parties when they retire or pass away - there is at least on the surface a sense of civility and how we are all in this together - similarly in the premier-and-chief-medical-officer covid update video sessions there is a refrain of appealing to the common good, which is at least to some extent reflected in the actual behaviour of most people

    3/former senator al franken was on cnn this past week talking about the widely beloved and suddenly deceased entertainment figure bob saget [i had never really consumed any of his product, so had only a vague idea of who he was, but apparently i am in the minority among american tv watchers] - the cnn interviewer, john berman, said that the widespread love expressed toward saget made berman want to be able to treat people the way bob saget did - franken said to him, in a warm and thoughtful way, 'i think you already do'

    from having watched berman presenting the news on tv for several years i have that impression of him as well, and it struck me i had just witnessed a moment of Menschlichkeit