Saturday, August 11, 2012

NAP'S HOME!



Called him at ten, twelve, two, three (right before we left for BWI to pick up Planet whose been away for a week on vacation w/SO), five (when we got back from BWI), six (before we went out to dinner), eight (when we got home), and nothing. Called at 8:25 just before settling down to watch United, and he's home. The Nap Signal worked.

United's down one after thirteen minutes, looks like they could lose by ten. My apologies, but I'd make the same deal again.

UPDATE! The combination of admitting my selfishness plus my supplications to Lord Etcheverry result in DeLeon being both offside AND handling the ball to score the tying goal.  1-1 25th minute.

It Was Always a Wen Releasing a Small Electrical Jolt to the Brain of Napoleon, Alexander, Attila



Yes, the Nap Signal will be displayed as header at night until Nap's reappearance, will appear in posts during the day until his reappearance. Once he reappears I will never pull this stunt again, so it will be over soon or go on forever. I fear the forever - MCPS is redoing the trailer classrooms at the elementary school across the street; Nap napped under them, I think he's freaked out and ran farther from home than he'd before. The future of header stanchion porn is in the balance. Hey! Did you know Washington DC has a professional soccer team?





It's true! and they play an important game tonight in Kansas City which we will but probably shouldn't cast as runes, though a loss will make me silly and a win yet sillier. Very curious the line-up, who's not one of eighteen. Looking forward to it, tweet or text during the game, yo. O! I'm not going to go blind, there's medication for it and a new RX for glasses. That was scary. OKOKOKOKOK, you can have some links after this song.





  • What, now you want autoblogography?
  • Verily.
  • From a purely entertainment pov, I'm delighted that Romney has chosen Ryan: Make no mistake. In his decision to make Paul Ryan, the zombie-eyed granny-starver from Wisconsin, his running mate, Romney finally surrendered the tattered remnants of his soul not only to the extreme base of his party, but also to extremist economic policies, and to an extremist view of the country he seeks to lead. This is unimaginable to those of us who lived here under Romney's barely perceptible stewardship of the Commonwealth (God save it!). If he'd even hinted that he agreed with a fraction of a smidgen of a portion of the policies on which Ryan has built his career, Romney would have been hanging from the Sacred Cod by the middle of 2005. And it's hard not to notice that the way the decision got leaked — in the dead of a Friday night, with the Olympics still going on, after two weeks in which Romney and his campaign had demonstrated all the political skills of a handball — fairly dripped with flopsweat. Pierce could have come up with something for Portman, but not as vicious.
  • Which isn't to say Ryan isn't an asshole
  • Asshats. (h/t Sasha via twitter). 
  • I'm certain the Obama campaign and DNC are delighted too.
  • Thought experiment: Joe Biden clutches his chest and slumps over this afternoon - imagine the noise.
  • Police state.
  • Domain Awareness System.
  • Torture state.
  • Looterism.
  • Fuck each and every one of them.
  • Standard operating procedure, both the crime and the eventual non-punishment.
  • Couple more new sites in Because Left and Because Right. New places to see solicited.
  • Misunderstanding with Queequeg
  • Borges.
  • Woke up with Ivy in my head, don't you know.





IF WE WERE HONEST

Albert Goldbarth

When I tell you that cultural ritual is an artifice
composed of simultaneous social-dynamic complexity vectors acting
     in anthropometric units,
I’m thinking of sex. I mean it.
We all are. It isn’t just me. Or when I say
the war, or the god, or the list with the juice and the cereal...
sex. What is it the psycho-experts are claiming?—every ten seconds?
When I tell you that I’m thinking of sex,

I’m thinking of death. Its worm is always
in my eye, its sour and dirt-blown web is always
a catch in my throat. It was always a wen
releasing a small electrical jolt to the brain
of Napoleon, Alexander, Attila. It was funereally
in the black, black ink of the Brontes;
why should I be any different? Why can’t we

be honest?—every poem is “Sex.” (Or “Death.”)
If we were honest, half of our poems would be about
the making of poems, the conference on the making of poems,
the resume of poems successfully made...you know, the way
that half of the time is actually spent. And did
ten seconds pass just now? If so, then
sex. (If so, then death.) Not too long after

the Dolphin first made port in Tahiti, it was discovered
the crew were trading its nails
for dalliances with the pliant and welcoming
women of that island—“to such a great extent, the ship
was in danger of being pulled apart.”
Inside the cradling waves of moonlight
on those waters...smiling...consummating...human

nails into smooth, bamboo-brown human grain...
how did they know, how could they foresee, that
my mother would die from her own lungs
shaping hundreds of obstinate fists in her chest,
my father would die with his own blood turning
into a useless negative of itself?
And yet they must have known, they must have seen the lesson,

they were trying to deny it with the drive of such
combustive, zealous engines! This is my topic
tonight, and how the craft of poetry and the role
of the postmodern in a society of gender-defined relationship roles is yes
     a bare knee like a beacon,
like a skull beneath the face-skin, and a question
from the audience on a quasi-political sense is yes in my mind, yes
     in yours, yes
sex and death—the one thing.


Friday, August 10, 2012

There Comes a Time in Every Man's Life When He Thinks: I Have Never Had a Single Original Thought in My Life Including This One & Therefore I Shall Eliminate All Ideas from My Poems which Shall Consist of Cats, Rice, Rain, Baseball Cards, Fire Escapes, Hanging Plants, Red Brick Houses



We haven't seen Napoleon* for a week after he'd been home steady for months. He's been away before, often, sometimes as much as two weeks. Still, this, discovered last night via googling after hearing a conversation in the grocery line at MOMs, both soothes and frightens. It's not the second or third families - I can share - it's the possums and, where we live, the raccoons, huge, fearless, potentially rabid. Regular programming will return - I insist it never leaves - but it's been a truly weird week - the weirdest week ever since the last until the next. Ask me offline cause I won't talk about it here. In the meantime, I woke up with Juana Molina in my head (it's been a while) so have two of her two songs plus a poem that uses the word cat which I needed for this post's title though it is blessedly serendipitous on multiple other levels.


UPDATE! via Prunella:





UPDATE! *Napoleon (a friend suggests I explain for her and others new here) is one of three feral kittens born in our shed five summers ago. We trapped the three plus mom, had them spayed and neutered; you can see the square cut the vets do to feral cats they use as a marker on Nap's left ear in the photo below. Gray Cat, one of the kittens, disappeared over two years ago. Mom Cat, Frankie, and Napoleon still live in the shed and we feed them daily. Mom Cat and Frankie will come within feet of us but still won't let us touch them. Napoleon is fully domesticated, comes in and out of the house, sits in my lap, love-bites my calves. Click ferals tab for more.









A QUICK ONE BEFORE I GO

David Lehman

There comes a time in every man's life
when he thinks: I have never had a single
original thought in my life
including this one & therefore I shall
eliminate all ideas from my poems
which shall consist of cats, rice,
rain baseball cards, fire escapes, hanging plants
red brick houses where I shall give up booze
and organized religion even if it means
despair is a logical possibility that can't
be disproved I shall concentrate on the five
senses and what they half perceive and half
create, the green street signs with white
letters on them the body next to mine
asleep while I think these thoughts
that I want to eliminate like nostalgia
0 was there ever a man who felt as I do
like a pronoun out of step with all the other
floating signifiers no things but in words
an orange T-shirt a lime green awning


Thursday, August 9, 2012

But Like Any People, They Called Themselves the People



A little north and east of the country of the Iroquois (or, as they called themselves, the Haudenosaunee), past the Montaignez and Algoumequin Nations, lay the Country of another People where the moose were yet more plentiful, the forests were much thicker and sometimes swampier, and osiers and speckled adlers lined the banks of rivers up and down which these People paddled their canoes when they hunted and fished and made war and visited; here mosquitoes whined in multitudes and the forests rang with the scoldings of chickadees and there were so many beeches that the sunlight was changed and became green. Flowing down from the dark mountains whose grey-lichened sides were wet with fog, clear streams swelled the rivers, which often rose above their banks after a rain, and the fishing was good in those places, and the rivers swept down through the green beech forests and widened further until they met the sea, where the People lived, gathering mussels and fishing for cod. And they were the People of KLUSKAP. They knew His ways, and the ways of the PLANT PERSONS and ANIMAL PERSONS, and their Shamans had Power. They swore by the SUN; they smoked tobacco for wisdom. In after times they became know to the Black-Gowns as the Souriquios, and, later still, the Micmac, but, like any other People, they called themselves the People.

The photo above and poem below are from Sugarloaf yesterday, the quote from Vollmann's Fathers and Crows, the second (and my favorite) of the Seven Dreams. I'm determined to woods more than I've recently, I hope to reread all four of the published dreams before the fifth comes out early next year. I hope to type this sentence much more: regular programming will resume tomorrow, or not.


Wednesday, August 8, 2012

The Ninth Floor, No Hydrants, No Fire Escapes



Blogbud emails last night re: This Heat. I had commented at his place, thanks for reminding me of the band, they had fallen off my playlist. They are fifth or sixth on his Sillyass Desert Island Game, he wanted to mention. I wrote back: Hey, thanks for email. It scares me how much I've forgot. Literally twenty minutes ago I flashed on Thomas Berger's novels, thought, when was the last time anyone thought about.. More often than not I'm glad it's a too full world. That's not true. I'm always glad it's a too full world. As for blegging, verily, what the fuck if it's our hydrant? He wrote back, Verily, yea... hydrantizing and all. Verily, blgglgzng the blgdysfsmmr.














SHIRT

Robert Pinsky

The back, the yoke, the yardage. Lapped seams,
The nearly invisible stitches along the collar
Turned in a sweatshop by Koreans or Malaysians

Gossiping over tea and noodles on their break
Or talking money or politics while one fitted
This armpiece with its overseam to the band

Of cuff I button at my wrist. The presser, the cutter,
The wringer, the mangle. The needle, the union,
The treadle, the bobbin. The code. The infamous blaze

At the Triangle Factory in nineteen-eleven.
One hundred and forty-six died in the flames
On the ninth floor, no hydrants, no fire escapes--

The witness in a building across the street
Who watched how a young man helped a girl to step
Up to the windowsill, then held her out

Away from the masonry wall and let her drop.
And then another. As if he were helping them up
To enter a streetcar, and not eternity.

A third before he dropped her put her arms
Around his neck and kissed him. Then he held
Her into space, and dropped her. Almost at once

He stepped to the sill himself, his jacket flared
And fluttered up from his shirt as he came down,
Air filling up the legs of his gray trousers--

Like Hart Crane's Bedlamite, "shrill shirt ballooning."
Wonderful how the pattern matches perfectly
Across the placket and over the twin bar-tacked

Corners of both pockets, like a strict rhyme
Or a major chord. Prints, plaids, checks,
Houndstooth, Tattersall, Madras. The clan tartans

Invented by mill-owners inspired by the hoax of Ossian,
To control their savage Scottish workers, tamed
By a fabricated heraldry: MacGregor,

Bailey, MacMartin. The kilt, devised for workers
To wear among the dusty clattering looms.
Weavers, carders, spinners. The loader,

The docker, the navvy. The planter, the picker, the sorter
Sweating at her machine in a litter of cotton
As slaves in calico headrags sweated in fields:

George Herbert, your descendant is a Black
Lady in South Carolina, her name is Irma
And she inspected my shirt. Its color and fit

And feel and its clean smell have satisfied
Both her and me. We have culled its cost and quality
Down to the buttons of simulated bone,

The buttonholes, the sizing, the facing, the characters
Printed in black on neckband and tail. The shape,
The label, the labor, the color, the shade. The shirt.


Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Herman Melville Memorial Picnic and Softball Game Shall Be Open to Whosoever of Ye Writes a Poem about Following thy Captain into the Maw of Hell to Kill the White Whale




Friend Richard sent along a link to an article by Rick Moody published July 11, 2012 in NewMusicBox on Pere Ubu's New Picnic Time which Moody calls, his italics, the scariest album ever made. My first response is, any excuse for a Pere Ubu cascade is a good excuse.





Have I ever mentioned that I love Pere Ubu/David Thomas projects here? Love them so much I've given them permanent status as one of three permanent members of My Sillyass Desert Island Five Game, then badgered you repeatedly with song cascades? Eight-plus years? Cause even if I responded point by point to essays - and fuck that - I'm far too immersed in my mwah to respond to this one. By and large it's fair both to the music and to Pere Ubu's history. I've never suggested that David Thomas isn't weird, difficult, Ahab, driven by demons, that he doesn't speak in tongues, a flame above his head.









RULES FOR CAPTAIN AHAB'S PROVINCETOWN POETRY WORKSHOP

Martin Espada

  1. Ye shall be free to write a poem on any subject, as long as it’s the White Whale.
  2. A gold doubloon shall be granted to the first among ye who in a poem sights the White Whale.
  3. The Call Me Ishmael Award shall be given to the best poem about the White Whale, with publication in The White Whale Review.
  4. The Herman Melville Memorial Picnic and Softball Game shall be open to whosoever of ye writes a poem about following thy Captain into the maw of hell to kill the White Whale.
  5. There shall be a free floating coffin for any workshop participant who falls overboard whilst writing a poem about the White Whale.
  6. There shall be a free leg, carved from the jawbone of a whale, for any workshop participant who is dismasted whilst writing a poem about the White Whale.
  7. There shall be a free funeral at sea, complete with a chorus of stout hearties singing sea chanteys about the White Whale, for any workshop participant who is decapitated whilst writing a poem about the White Whale.
  8. Ye who seek not the White Whale in thy poems shall be harpooned.


Monday, August 6, 2012

Stop Repeating Yourself. You Old Motherfucker. Your Skies Are Bad Enough. [He Looks to the Ground.] A Parody Is Better Than a Pun




Looking for cheap gag for today's monologue I went back to four years ago today to see what I was yodeling. In typepad, since I archived by month rather than weeks, I have to scroll from August 31 backwards. I rarely use the gag - today being an (not the) exception, but I look back often because every one in a while it sparks a Guided by Voices cascade. In fact every Guided by Voices cascade except for Pollard's birthday. Hey, have a complete show which has a serendipitous surprise!





So, August 6, 2008, I posted.... um, a lazyass August Blog Days of Summer linkful placeholder, what a motherfucking attention whore I was am and will always be. Hey, look what I found looking for August 6:









HELEN: A REVISION

Jack Spicer

zeus: It is to be assumed that I do not exist while most people in the vision assume that I do exist. This is to be one of the extents of meaning between the players and the audience. I have to talk like this because I am the lord of both kinds of sky—and I don't mean your sky and their sky because they are signs, I mean the bright sky and the burning sky. I have no intention of showing you my limits. The players in this poem are players. They have taken their parts not to deceive you [or me for that matter] but because they have been paid in love or coin to be players. I have known for a long time that there is not a fourth wall in a play. I am called Zeus and I know this.

thersites: [Running out on the construction of the stage.] The fourth wall is not as important as you think it is.

zeus: [Disturbed but carrying it off like a good Master of Ceremonial.] Thersites is involuntary. [He puts his arm around him.] I could not play a part if I were not a player.
thersites: Reveal yourself to me and don't pretend that there are people watching you. I am alone on the stage with you. Tell me the plot of the play.

zeus: [Standing away.] Don't try to talk if you don't have to. You must admit there is no audience. Everything is done for you.

thersites: Stop repeating yourself. You old motherfucker. Your skies are bad enough. [He looks to the ground.] A parody is better than a pun.

zeus: I do not understand your language.

[They are silent together for a moment and then the curtain drops.]


* * *

And if he dies on this road throw wild blackberries at his ghost
And if he doesn't, and he won't, hope the cost
Hope the cost.

And the tenor of the what meets the why at the edge
Like a backwards image of each terror's lodge
Each terror's lodge.

And if he cries put his heart out with a lantern's goat
Where they say all passages to pay the debt
The lighted yet.


* * *

The focus sing
Is not their business. Their backs lay
By not altogether being there.
Here and there in swamps and villages.
How doth the silly crocodile
Amuse the Muse

* * *

And in the skyey march of flesh
That boundary line where no body is
Preserve us, lord, from aches and harms
And bring my death.

Both air and water rattle there
And mud and fire
Preserve us, lord, from what would share a shroud
and bring my death.

A vagrant bird flies to the glossy limbs
The battlefield has harms. The trees have half
Their branches shot away. Preserve us, lord
From hair and mud and flesh.


Sunday, August 5, 2012

United 1, Columbus 0



So yay and all, but something is off-key if not outright wrong (though in fairness everything everywhere is off-key if not outright wrong so it might just be me). DeRossario seems extra slow, extra petulant, extra divey, doesn't play nice with Boskovic. See, it is me. Maybe DeRossario doesn't like playing withdrawn, maybe it's mileage and lingering knocks and not his head, but it's been games since he even flashed more than one or two hints of the dominating player he's been (and who he has to be for United to make a run).

Dudar's best game for United, good game for McDonald too (whom I'm told I rag too much on), steady game from Korb (who's a minor revelation), poor game, first in a while, for Woolard who was surely concussed and now gone for games. Jakovic on the left defensive line? Oh shit. Najar will be back from the stupidass Olympics for next Saturday's important game at Kansas City; suppose he'll start left back if Woolard is eskandarianed. Salihi has been frankonealed.

Here's Goff, here's Shatzer, here's Webb, here's the video. More iawon.